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A shove
you push me across the line
I stumble forward a few steps
looking at you staring at me cross-armed
I back up, trying to cross back over to you
I bump into something solid
hard
the line has turned into a wall
I can't see you anymore
sometimes
if I look hard enough
I can see small holes forming
but they are too hard to get through
too small
I don't know if I would ever be able to reach your side again

You can't just shove me over here
in a new atmosphere, a new town, new people, new places,
nothing is familiar
and you toss me in here
like yesterday's trash
expecting me to mix
to fit in perfectly

*but what if I can't?
I recently moved, and only some will know when it gets hard. It is tough when you are just expected to fit in with the new group you're tossed into. It's really hard sometimes, and it gets you down and it's impossible to drag yourself out of your personal hole of misery. But I guess I can. It's hard. I'm not sure if I really could. Like a fantasy...
 May 2017 bryn
Jawad
RIGHT NOW
 May 2017 bryn
Jawad
Broken in pieces like thin branches for wood fire;
Worn out like a cloth fifty years old;
A trunk invaded by termites,
Rolling down a hill full of rocks;
A carpet walked over with ***** shoes,
Covering the floor of a once busy hallway,
Now abandoned and invaded by mold;
The paleness of a ruin one thousand years old,
Submerged in a thick sea of fog;
The rust on an old broken truck,
Mixed with dust to form an adhesive substance,
Eating the metal through to its core;

Combine this all together,
And imagine it's a feeling.
That's how I am feeling right now...
No comment...
 May 2017 bryn
allie
i check my phone
the single thing that rises me
and i look at one of my only apps
then open it
and then open my missed text
and read it
then scream
then dance
then sing
thank god for that
something happened. and thank god.
 May 2017 bryn
allie
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Oh, hello.
I can see you,
reading my poem.
Well, not really.
But I can project it from my mind
and see you scrolling down my page
or your home screen
or whatever page you see
and roll your eyes at this poem
and possibly click the like button.
Or read it,
then keep scrolling
because you thought it was bad
or you didn't like it
or whatever reason.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Oh, goodbye.
 May 2017 bryn
Saoirse
Before I was here I was innocent
Before I was here I was brave
Before I was here I was an angel

But now I have changed

Now that I am here I am scared
Now that I am here I am uncomfortable
Now that I am here I am vulnerable

But now that I am here I can breathe
But now that I am here I am free
But now that I am here I can see...
I
     feelll
  aas             th
                        ough
    yyooou   rr
       hheeaart     tttt
i              c     a       h
s                r      s          i  n g
crushing
I  n  v aa  d ii n g
my  MIND
                                     my  s ssp pp paaa cce ee
Get oouuuuttt
                       away
            over
              lls             over
       hi         t           ls th e
   h e              h      hil       h
T                        e            ills
awayawayawayawayaway­awayaway
and    OfFfFFffff
toooo         buurnn
       y           s   o     u    l
   m            s   o    u    l
               s   o   u     l     ...
How I feel right now. so Get Out
 May 2017 bryn
allie
-
 May 2017 bryn
allie
-
just another day
of racked
tangling
mangled
emotion

-
oh jesus i need to talk to someone (Cc, come to my rescue)
 May 2017 bryn
Jawad
When you feel lost
With no intention to be found again
Because those who are looking
Will lose you
The moment they find you

Yet you have to choose
Between two tough options
One in which the content is good
But the context is bad
And the other one vice versa
Only that neither option
In addition to their difficulties
Have guaranteed outcomes

When you are surrounded by people
Who on top of your depression
Make you feel more depressed
And you can't do anything about them
Because people change hard

The guilt
The internal rejection
The misery
The pressure

And then you wonder
What all that does to you
Being constantly in struggle
And not knowing
When all this will stop
Although you know it won't
Because it is related to people
And people change hard
There must be a solution, because its impossible to go on like this..!
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