I see people on the streets on their phones,
Saying they have everything figured out,
Their shadows linger behind,
They tell a different story,
One of pain and silence,
Too many quiet nights,
Flashbacks to the pain,
Their shadows have always been there,
They will never leave your side.

I had never met a man
Who kissed my insecurities,
Tended my distorted perceptions,
And traced lips across my scarred skin.

I was worthy to be lavished upon.
In your eyes, I was more than a trophy.
My figure was temptful but valued;
Every penny was well-spent.

You brought back what should have been.
My previously unmet expectations
Brought my hopes down;
Your gentleness built them back up again.

We may not have worked out...
But your pursuit taught me a lesson:
I am lovely and fine with being "incomplete"
Three adventurous months with you... were enough for me.

I’m sorry mom
Sorry for the times I pushed you away
For the days that I hated you
And for the tears I caused you

I’m not the daughter you wanted
I am sorry for the nights I made you hate yourself
For the lonely nights
All you wanted was to be by my side

I don’t know how to be what you need
I don’t talk about my feelings
I don’t show emotion
I promise I’m not heartless

I’ve learned to guard my heart
Not just from you but everyone
So please don’t take it to heart
I am just falling apart

Maybe my blood is too hot
Maybe I have a brain disease
Maybe I have a disorder
But for now you’re just gonna have to take my word

You tried so hard to be there
You were all in
But I wasn’t
I’m sorry mom for all the wounds I left on your heart.

She was a young girl,
Her spirit was bright,
She believed the world was good,
Until pain overwhelmed her.

The assault had made her a new friend,
It was called a razor blade,
Never able to do it,
So desperately she wanted to end it.

Months go by and the pain lingers above her head,
It’s all just too much,
Darkness becomes her life,
A toy she played with a lot now.

The mirror was a window into the past,
Every time she looked into it she saw disgust,
The trapped memories with in her eyes,
End it, End it now she told herself.

Sits in the shower crying,
Know one knew the pain she was in,
No matter how hard she scrubs the flashbacks won't go away,
Scrubbing so hard blood starts to go down the drain.

Her life crumbling before her eyes,
She was broken,
Yet she didn’t care,
“You think you know somebody”.

Who am I supposed to come to help for,
Who is gonna pick me up from the floor.

How am I supposed to deal with people,
How am I supposed to do this by myself.

You’re my bestfriend please don’t leave,
I don’t wanna do this alone.

It’s not the same as talking on the phone,
Things will change.

We will change,
In the end this is your choice.

We’ve talked about graduation since we were little,
The dream doesn’t work with only one.

I’m walking into the future by myself,
At this point it couldn’t be worse than hell.

I don't know how to explain the feeling without it sounding like it's normal.
I can smile and laugh,
I can talk but I rather not.
The sadness never ends.
I feel empty, and I feel like I'm not good enough.
No matter how hard I try to show how much I love and care, it's never enough.
My heart is tearing into pieces.. and I feel the darkness pulling me under its wing again.
I shouldn't have learned how to love or care because now I'm hurt!
And I don't know how to fix myself.
Whenever I feel like I'm okay, something always happens to tear my heart apart again.
I am a mess.
People think they can handle me when I can't even handle myself.
My heart is broken..
I could never say this so I wrote it on paper.

I kiss you. Goodbye. I wait under you- watch until the plane
goes up. above my by miles, away from me my countries.

The gravel road of our driveway is cool and firm
the sand of the desert is hot and shifting and you are gone

You promise to be home soon- we both know you won't but pretend to believe this is a promise you can keep

you will not be home soon, if you come home at all
I miss you i wait for you i want you here
but you don't come, you can't