I fell in love with the possibility of us
I fell not for your charming imperfections
I fell not for your 60s voice
I fell for what we could have been

Gift me books
Filled with stories of far away lands
Words of poetry overflowing in love

Gift me books
Anonymous letters of confession
Mythical tales of African tribes

Gift me books
Blank new borns
Filled to the spine with memories and dreams

Gift me books to fall in love with
Books to time travel into
Books to escape responsible madness
Books to share with my bros

Pages and pages filled with fascinating, inspiring, emotional simple words
Gift me a book
So we can share our worlds to form galaxies
Of trust. Hope. And love.

Remember all those memories?
The ones I noted meticulously?
The ones you scratched in the planes of my body?
They're vanishing
Like yesterday nights fuzzy dreams
Remaining just as vague after thoughts
Of what had been a detailed dissertation

I no longer remember what it felt
When you engulfed me in your arms
I don't understand anymore
How I felt when you looked into my eyes
I no longer know the feeling
Of you kissing my cheeks
Or if we ever in fact did kiss
Did your lips ever feel mine?

I do not know anymore
It seems you have served your purpose in my life
And no longer are required to be remembered
Maybe this is natures sign
A shining poster for me to see each day
We weren't the one
Not for each other
And trust me its okay
It will all be okay.

The wind was blowing through my hair,
Entangling it violently
All around were cries of death and
Blasts of body parts
But we flew past it all,
Only one target for us
All I could hear was the massive thumping
Of my nervous heart
All I could see, was his face
All I could taste,
Was the raging fear bursting inside me
Only one thought crossed my mind
Repeatedly
"What if I'm too late? What if?"

You would never be just a notch on my bedpost
You'd be the scratches and scrawls
My constant reminders
When I lose my sight
When I no longer hear your laughter
and my memories turn to dust
My fingers will trace those marks
Everyday
and remember you all over again

You and I always boasted of being different
Not following stupid teenage mistakes
At least when it came to each other
We knew what we were
And no other opinion mattered

The first time I slept over
We stayed up all night
Watching silly late night flicks
You lay across my lap
So intimate for acquaintances
A new beginning perhaps
We wondered secretly
As you kissed my hand sleepily

The first time we slept in the same bed
An unconscious action of innocent drunks
We laid side by side barely touching only our hands held together
We drifted to our own happy places

The first time we said I love you
Was not at romantic sunset beaches
We declared it matter of factly
To others
As we scorned at the idea of "us"
Pointing sneakily we whispered
"But there's nothing there"

The first time your hands reached into forbidden territory
I was hiding in fear of brutal killings on a 10 inch flat screen
We lay in each others arms
Moving slowly against our heat
Wondering what was going on
For this was not expected
It was never even a possibility

The first time I said I wanted more
Wasn't a session of exchanged emotions
Rather a battle of cruel words
Flung blindly at each other
Intentions not to hurt but only confused at the rapidly changing reality

The first time you said we needed a break
You convinced yourself of your mature decision
But I knew this to be another beginning
Beginning of our end
For we no longer knew what we were
And evil whispers gained importance over unsaid feelings

The first time you walked past me like I didn't exist
I didn't cry or breakdown
From the corners of my eyes I saw you greet others with a smile
But it was a smile I no longer knew
A face I no longer recognised
A body I no longer remembered

I never was one of your famous escapades
I never was a night you'd always remembered
I almost became another one timer
But never a notch on your bed post

The righteous and brave die but one death,
but what if they die for those very reasons?

As cowards stand tall in gleaming armour,
holding treacherous ****** knives in their hands.