That poem you wrote about me,
is my favorite of your works.
How could it not be?
That's the most wonderful thing
anyone's ever done for me.
To care enough to be inspired, by me.
To care at all.
But when you asked me,
I lied && said I liked another one better.
I didn't want you to think I was being arrogant.      
I care what you think.
When you told me that your favorite
movie trilogy was The Lord of the Rings,
I told you that I'd never seen any of the films.
What you don't know,
is that later that day
I went out && rented all three films.
I stayed up that entire night
watching them straight through.
I thought it would help me
to understand you better.
I thought it would make me feel closer to you.
I'm not sure if it did that,
but I enjoyed the films nonetheless.
I've always had a problem
conveying my emotions to people.
I convey all sorts of emotions,
just never the right ones at the right times.
Somehow it always felt like I'd be too vulnerable, showing people how I really feel.
For as long as I can remember,
I've always acted the exact opposite
of how I really felt. It felt safer.
I guess I always thought that if I showed another emotion, other than how I really felt, when I was ostracized, criticized, put down, for such displays of emotion, I wouldn't be affected by it.
After all, that wasn't the real me anyway.
Boy, was I wrong.
I now have enemies who love me,
because I've only ever shown them
kindness, so they wouldn't know
how I really felt about them.
I then have people that I would go
to the ends of the earth for, that believe
I hold a strong disdain for them.
I'm not quite sure how to fix this conundrum I'm in, but you really make me want to figure it out.

You once said that in your lifetime
you wanted to witness unrequited love..

Strength is an outward showing. If you think that anyone just feels like they can take on the world all of the time, you're wrong. Everyone is scared. Some people just push through it, in the hopes that it will inspire others to push forth as well, in the hopes that it will get better; it will get better. Create an epidemic of inner heroism, of inner strength. Sometimes you just have to do it. You just have to keep going, even when everything inside of you is screaming for you to stop. When others start believing you are strong, you will too.

I am happy
When people like
My poems

When people
Comment on my poems
If there is a criticism
That's okay too

Such kind people here
What we write here is important

I send my good wishes
To the writers here

In an ideal world
I would invite you
To my living room

To share the warmth
Of the fire

And offer you a glass
Of warm tea

Or hot chocolate Ovaltine

And as all living things
crumbled before me

I saw the end as it
should never have come

And the guilt of knowing
that I was at fault

That was the end of
love's lie.

And though I love you,
It's not how you want me to.

And though I smile at you,
It's not how you want me to.

And though I kiss you,
It's not how you want me to.

And though I'm here for you,
It's not how you want me to.

I love you as a sister -
It's not how you want me to.

I smile at you as a friend -
It's not how you want me to.

I kiss you as a sister -
It's not how you want me to.

I'm here for you as a friend -
It's not how you want me to.



And so -
how do you want me to love you that I can do?