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Feb 2016 · 396
Paper-thin
Neo Stargazer Feb 2016
When my heart is heavy, when my mind is buzzing
painting my heart in a picture, hard-pressed graphite
cures my soul
When my heart is shattered, sinking, when my mind is trapped
when my hands and paper are no longer any cure
a masterpiece of crimson and alabaster is created
Dec 2015 · 671
Artificial Heart
Neo Stargazer Dec 2015
Morphine, gasoline
Make my head feel just the same
Scratching nails, quarantine
Still doesn't **** what's in my brain
Arsenic, benzene
Still no sign of life
My heart is made of static wires*
*Please steal it with a knife
Dec 2015 · 1.9k
The Mechanic
Neo Stargazer Dec 2015
They're the one that everyone sees as the light,
the one who clears out the darkness
their gentle hands masterfully working
between the twisted gears and wires
But so much time does the mechanic spend
polishing gears and rekindling hope
that those blind eyes pass over, glazed with the false belief
that the mechanic's own fire is still burning strong
Each clock they fix, each machine they clean, enigmas within the mind
they give their own light and their flames die slowly
no longer holding hope for themselves
Still, they gather the pieces around them, shattered, broken, bent and twisted
tweaking and twisting till everything's perfect,
because their work keeps the embers alive, barely aglow
amongst the broken parts within them
It is the last hope they have left
Will anyone save the mechanic who fixes everyone else?
The one who couldn't possibly have darkness in other's eyes?
Neo Stargazer Dec 2015
.... a n d y o u 'r e n e v e r w a k i n g u p.

        It's numb, it's cold
                          But at least, I'm still being held; I'm still being wanted
   I can feel his heartbeat, but no love
                                                           ­                                 Just freezing cold lust                                      I shouldn't be here
               But where do I go?
                                                            ­               If I leave, I'll be alone again
        The crushing weight of solitude, more than I can bear
                                                           ­       Even if I'm unloved, I'm still wanted              
                              And that is all I've ever wanted
               Even if he's cold
             Even if my heart is left with scars, open and bleeding
            Even if I'm surrounded by chains
  I can't leave
      *I won't leave
I made a reference to a game I've played named "Undertale" in the title and first line.
Ah.... explanations.... past relationships?
This one is really rough- I'm not proud of it. It was just something I needed to get out of my buzzing head at the time.
Dec 2015 · 390
"I love you"
Neo Stargazer Dec 2015
How do you know that "I love you" is true?
The soft words on my lips,
never passed towards anyone before
now given to him; but sometimes, he won't respond
and nearly always, I must be the first one to speak them
He returns with silence when he's numb, troubled,
consumed in his own darkness
I understand why- but it still brings me fear
A shiver through my core, static in my head
I don't believe he understands how special he is to me,
or how important my "I love you" means
And I wonder, does he love me?
Does he love me in his darkness, does he love me enough to save me* from mine?
Will all of the times I've worked hard to be his light
*become meaningless?
Ah... so disorganized.
More so a line of thought, one I thought others may identify with.
I fear that I give too much of my heart for those who will never give as much back.
Dec 2015 · 6.5k
Stardust
Neo Stargazer Dec 2015
We are the stardust
Packed into bright burning lights
Crossing the night sky
All have the potential to shine.
Not all choose to.
I hope that one day, those I love will find their own light,
so that mine won't burn out trying to save them from their darkness.
Dec 2015 · 445
Among the Stars
Neo Stargazer Dec 2015
As light fades and darkness rises the most beautiful flowers bloom,
glimmering crystals, beneath, above, a spiraling nebula
The wind is stardust kissing my lips, filling my lungs where oxygen is none, and brushing light as petals against my pale skin
The celestial fields cradle me and display a spectrum before my eyes, clusters of all colors, a painting of the galaxy
By midnight soft voices, enchanting spells of dark matter, reverberate through my mind
clearing the static, the shadows, the fear
For once, everything is so gentle, so peaceful, so loving
Until dawn rises and I must return from my place among the stars
Where I'll wait for the harsh daylight to settle,
then return to my gallery of constellations in the heavens
Dec 2015 · 683
It's Cold
Neo Stargazer Dec 2015
I can't feel anything
The frost dancing across my fingertips, my eyelashes, my wind-lashed hair
Silence masses my lips, I'm afraid if I speak more warmth will leave me

Can anyone hear me, I wonder, even God?
Only the storm answers my silent pleas, screaming, reverberating in my mind
Lest I freeze, someone, please warm my heart, my soul
Don't leave me here alone; it's cold

— The End —