I've swallowed whole my humble pie
For years now without remorse
I was content to leave it all as such
And let all things take its 'natural' course
But then I learned I could take a pen
And weave words around a rhythmic display
If it wasn't for that fateful chance
I wouldn't be half the man I am today

Because when I get sad, I close the door
And I cry
But when I get sad and think of these words
I get by

These words are my reconciliation
To a life in which I can relate
But I feel so shameful
When I chose mine
Because I chose mine

For years to come, I would covet this
A final poem, a final prose
And in the hours that past me by
I never seem to write any of those
These words I love to put to the test
As if tried and true never failed
And in my path comes consequence
of the catered streams where they wade
I've used them up, I've brought them down
On many, oft without mercy or delay
Without them, I'd never get this far
I'd never tell you in this way

But when I get here and close the door
I can get by
But when I'm alone with these words
I still cry

These words are my appreciation
Something I can dedicate
But it’s often so painful
When I chose mine
Because I chose mine

©2015 Neal Emanuelson

With fierce eyes turned towards the dawn
A tightly balled fist rose to the heavens
Parting smiles, carbon particles, and atoms
Collided and separated

And in the split of an atom second
The world caved into her mouth
Diffused with saliva-like opinions
And spit into the ocean fusion

A tear of wish amongst the sea foam rocks
Dashed by the sharp pangs of truth
Cutting deeper into her gaze
I fell out of expectation

Without a breath of hope under the torrent
Faltering a rescue of a retracted hand
Mirrored to the sky and sea
A lover gone to a memory

© 2015 Neal Emanuelson

Her doorway holds the way between
His hand and the heart he spilled
About faith
Lean against the walls in time
All in wait for her reply
Something meaningful to help return the hurt
They speak about the their world in turns
Sudden break within the boundary
Of the levees of her closed and drying tears
Opens the doorway
With brighter eyes; Return

The time slows by
And earth shall not cease to turn

Against the wall
Light shadows mood
In lieu of promises no one sure to keep
He’s not a liar, so he thought
He holds on painfully a bit too tight
She’s crushed within a comforted grip
Her eyes no longer separate between the lives
Seen reasonable or rational
To believe his words today
And the coming days with smile and a tear

The time slows by
And earth shall not cease to turn
Spinning silently when nothing’s right
Leaving hesitantly when nothing’s wrong

The doorway holds two worlds between
Closed eyes and the shudders of their dreams
Memories in reverse repetition, slowed

© 2008

Complacencies beneath the burning leaves
Warranted by the rise and shine
The world turns without disturbing dirt
Sedated like a dream in constant suspension

Well the sunlight revealed some truth
Hidden in grass beneath the meadow
But the forest kept its peace with guard
By the trees relentless shadows

Maybe it’ll come down.

The sun is bullying its turf
The earth no longer fears its shine
The sun will reveal the earth
The earth will be exposed in time

Well, innocence comes in early months
And changes truth through summer visions
But when the cold comes slowly in
The sun has forgotten its decision

Maybe it’ll come down.

© 2008

Oh hail toothbrush, haven’t seen you since last night
I’ve returned again to cleanse an overbite
Spread the paste thick and minty across your bristled skin
Over the lips and on the culprits, 007 of oral hygiene going in

****, it feels good-

Morning scrubs do away with yesterday’s store appetizer samples
Clinging and eroding the ceramic protection of my enamels
Its poor thin concealing of my porcelain I must protect
Just a little more push and pull- haven’t even eaten breakfast yet
Foaming at the mouth, rabid plague of plaque I’m getting rid of
What extra harm for today’s meals I should have considered

But it’s alright-

My dentist smiles and offers a primary root canal adjustment
But the filling he’s drilling in won’t do too much for my budget
One hand to my jaw could cause my little car to swerve
Unbearable agony from the glass casing encasing that vital nerve

One hole’s enough for today-

Make it home, disgusted jaw line of cotton by the mirror
Spit soaked clouds are temporary relief for bearer
Grab the blender, toss it up, eggs and bacon with my juice
It’s no use- my straw’s stuck with gunk and nothing’s coming loose.

But what about this canker sore?

© 2008

She received a letter
Dreaded in these modern times
What belonged in her arms
Was armed on the front lines
Thoughts buried softly in shells of gunfire
Paper clenched in her hand, barely left there
Breathing

She stands in her dismay
“He will return to me someday.”
Her mind pacing through her memories
As her days aged longer still
She clings to reasons no one will
Until he set foot back in his home
She would rest here alone.

She received a phone call
Picked up with a hopeless taste
Hospital front desk states
Her lover won’t be home today.
Forever waiting by dimming porch light
She stares awake in her chair, left alone there
Breathing

And the years fade on
“He just can’t be gone.”
Pictures fading with all her memories
As the door creeps open slow
The only footsteps she could know
Return safely home to her arms
No longer could she be alone.

© 2008

These kinds of words are overused
Stuck to those that emit untrue
The ones that keep the eyes you knew
His common sense was overrated

Her burden is a heart of a fool
His admired eyes fed off her abuse
How those feelings become misused
In his mind, he was hers- subjugated

Behind the trees, with eyes so bruised
That heart of his caught her flu
A piercing scene she put him through
Her lips on another, body capsize

The sink overflows, the mother cries
Shadows hide the bullet’s pride
The sun commits another suicide
Crashing into the cold horizon.

Let’s blame it all on two,
Let’s blame it all on two,
Let’s blame it all on you…
And see what she let die.

© 2008