mumu: Favorites

Jun 2018 mumu

DancingEnt

I've never acknowledged my depression
And as soon as I do
BOOM
It's here
I want to die
But I dont really
I just want to stop hurting
And sometimes I just want to feel something
And right now it is both
My heart hurts and my body feels numb
Theres a pit in my stomach that cant be filled up
I feel like I'm void
Of everything but sadness
Like I'm a black hole for happiness
I used to be "happy"
But now I know it was just a mask
Because everything was buried
And now it's on the surface
And I just want it gone again
I want to pretend like I dont care that I dont have friends
I want to go back to when nothing phased me
I thrived on stress and I didnt go crazy
I was used to abuse so I was never really me
I had created my own alternate reality
One without **** and drugs and alcoholism
One where I didnt stand up and I just took the hate and criticism
One where I was sad all the time
But I was so busy pretending to be "happy"
That I didn't notice.

I'm grateful to be at a point where I can feel like I'm myself. But I'm also terrified because so many things are coming to the surface and I'm afraid you're going to run and hide. I dont want to lose you but I keep pushing you away and one day you're gonna say "I'm done" and that's it. My biggest fear will be realized ten-fold because I'll be without you and I'll die sad and alone.

#happy #sad #depression #hurt #die #pain #alone #empty #writing #helps

Jun 2018 mumu

Prioritize

Jun 2018 mumu

mjad

Prioritize

Controller in his hands
My body in his arms
His eyes on the screen
He's not being mean
He's just prioritizing
The games over me

This was a daily and I can't believe it, you are all incredible, thank you for all the tremendous feedback and make sure to read the other mediocre poetry I have if you have time:):)

#boy #fortnite #games #girls #love #disappointment #cuddle #mean #ignorance #want

Jun 2018 mumu

Sometimes

Jun 2018 mumu

Josh

Sometimes

Sometimes I hurt myself,
Sometimes I cut myself,
Let the blood pour out,
Let the pain flourish,

Sometimes I burn my arm,
Blushing burns on my cold caucus,
Scaring it, every mark a ventilation,
Sometimes I hit my head
Smash it against the wall,
Still the demons remain,
And still I do not change,

Sometimes I imagine something new,
Sometimes I imagine ending it too,
You see all these terrible things I do,
It’s because Sometimes, I think of you.

But we all have bad habits.

#sometimes #love #talk #to #you

Jun 2018 mumu

Questions

Jun 2018 mumu

Ivan Brooks Sr

Questions

What's greater than spoken words,
Yet poets flip them seamlessly?
What's Sharper than a Samurai's swords,
Yet great warriors used them bravely?
What's better than a woman's tender body,
Yet some men abuse them repeatedly?
What's purest than the tears she sheds
Yet it flows when she sobs quietly?

What's better than a mother's love
Yet she gives it so unconditionally?
What's more precious than a human life,
Yet many men live ever so carelessly?
What's more disappointing than Donald Trump,
Yet some Americans love him dearly?
Who came up with the idea of slavery,
Yet the world refuses to apologize openly?
Who invented the deadly assault rifles,
That people ****** innocent kids with remorselessly?

Who actually built the pyramids
That to this day, stands rigidly?
What's the function of the U.N,
Why are nations warring perpetually?
Why is it so impossible for mankind
To have peace, live and love harmoniously?
Where's justice for my queen mother
And the innocent people killed senselessly?
Why don't we appreciate the creation of this beautiful earth,
Why do we continue to destroy and mismanage it simultaneously?

Who came up with the concept of religion,
How did God Almighty become
A part of the prosperity Gospel industry?
Why do Rastafarians
Call him Jah,
Who are the true Christians,
Why do Muslims call him Allah?
Who named the Lord Jesus,
And why do priests proclaim
Peace unto us?
Who are Hindus,
What is the story about krishna?
Why do others worship
Budha?
Why do witch doctors
call him Babba,
Why do others believe
In no God,
But pray to the universe?
Why don"t they honor his word,
Yet from the bible quote a verse,
And when things falls apart,
They cry in his name?
What really is that?
Oh what a contradiction
And a big shame!

IvanBrooksPoetry©
7/6/2018

What question do you wish to ask?

#questions #poetry #life #concerns

Jun 2018 mumu

BURN

Jun 2018 mumu

Semicolon

BURN

You are made of stardust;
Your skin sparkles the way those stars do.
Your veins are made of the earth;
Your blood blooms flowers and leaves and trees.
Your breaths are made of the air of this planet;
You blow life into this world.
Your mouth, your lips are made of words;
You speak tales that nobody else feels.
Your eyes contain the universe in them;
They have stories to tell and stories to bury.
Your scars are made of the chronicles your life has lived;
They're constant reminders that you've felt emotions nobody has.
You are infinite.
How'd you think it's okay to burn yourself down?

~Semicolon

#self #love #infinite #infinity #universe #body #semicolon

Jun 2018 mumu

she

Jun 2018 mumu

alexa

she

she is more than he bargained for.
she has thoughts, dreams,
a magical mind he
didn’t see coming.
he’s spent days sketching her in his mind,
her locks of mahogany,
doe eyes, freckled nose.
he asked her if she wrote about him,
if she saw his mind as beautiful
as he saw hers.
in the warmth of the moment she forgot
to ask him the same thing.

Jun 2018 mumu

That Feeling

Jun 2018 mumu

Baylee

That Feeling

Do you ever get that feeling,
You know the one I mean,
The one you can’t describe
Not even in your wildest dreams.

It kind of feels like drowning
While simultaneously watching yourself drown,
But there’s nothing you can do,
Just watch your body slowly sink down.

Or maybe it feels like...
Your stomach is full of lead,
Your knees are constantly buckling
And a baseball bat to the head.

Do you ever get that feeling,
You know the one I’m talking about,
When your breathing is shallow
And you’re full of self-doubt.

The constant storm of thoughts
That seem to take over your brain,
Overthinking every moment
Until it drives you insane.

Or the feeling you get
When your friend confides in you,
And tells you how
There’s nothing you can do.
Because the deed has been done,
And she’s trying to move on,
But you can’t simply forgive
An act that’s so wrong.

Do you ever get that feeling?
You know the one I mean,
The one that eats you alive
And makes you want to scream.

#poetry #sad #feeling

Jun 2018 mumu

four months

Jun 2018 mumu

Isabelle

four months

it’s been four months
since you closed your eyes
and never opened them again
it’s been four months
but i replayed that scene
over and over again
it’s been four months
since you left me in pieces
and I haven’t really collected myself
it’s been four months
since you’ve been gone
but why does it always feel like it’s just yesterday?

for my Lola in heaven :((
i have been crying since the morning, too sad today. the longing is unbearable.

Jun 2018 mumu

Pain II

Jun 2018 mumu

Barker

Pain II

I see you standing there
I can see the pain masked by a smile
I can see how broken you are

I want to help you
I want to make you feel wanted
I want to make you happy

But I don't know how
I don't know what to do
I don't know how to act

I wish I could help you
I want to help you
I can help you

I've been through this
I know how this works
I know how I got through this

Maybe I can heal those scars on your wrist
I just want you to open up
I need you to open up

I know that it is hard
I understand what this means
I might not understand completely

I can try to understand
I will understand
I just need you to trust me

Please
Let Me
Help You

Don't
Shut Me
Out

(c)ibarker

For the one who has my heart

#pain #help #i #wish #trust #scars

Jun 2018 mumu

i’m sure

Jun 2018 mumu

GONNER

i’m sure

i watch you watch her
i hear you compliment her
i walk beside you as you hold hands with her
i see the way you smile when you talk to her
i see that little sparkle that’s in your eye get a little brighter when she enters the room
i wish you saw me the way you used to
i wish i was still the one who makes you smile like that.
i wish i was the one who made that subtle but oh so distinctive sparkle in your eye get brighter
after all, i am the only one who notices it.
after all i am the one who was always and is still here for you through anything.
after all i am the one who will stick around
after all i am the one who will never be able to look at you in any other way than perfect
after all i am the one who will always look for you in a crowded room.
after all i am the one who is sure about how i feel and what i want and well,
what i want
is you

about a someone