The sun shines brightly
Yet everything looks gloomy
My heart is heavy

If tomorrow starts without me,
Will my boys feel the void in the bathroom at 7:00
That used to be a song inside the shower?
Will the school guard miss greeting me back at 8:30am
“Good morning” in my own language?

If tomorrow starts without me,
Will the secretary look for me at 10:30
As parents report of me missing a meeting?
Will the server wait at the cafeteria at 12:30
but nobody shows up to order only half a portion of a meal?
Will students ask my colleagues at 14:00
whether I am sick or attending a conference?

If tomorrow starts without me,
Will neighbors notice that at 15:00
My bike still stands at the front garden?
Will the life guard at the pool notice at 18:00 that no swimmer is wearing blue green googles?

It is the season for new buds and blossoms,
For a Mirabelle plum tree that blooms
Attracting bees that hum like softly rolling thunder
What a bright, white and scented wonder!

Body forwarding through the sky
Borders formidably tasking to skip
Bonds firmly threatening this shift
Bare feet touching the sand

Eyes puffy and nose clogged,
I have colds, one would conclude
It’s autumn, that’s common
Sorrow is not only my own

Between us,
the root of the combined vertical and horizontal both framed expands,
the quotient as orbit is sliced by permanently infinite grows,
the aftermath of temporal magnitude magnified by velocity widens.

Are you letting me go?

Cream-filled sugary
Chocolate frosting and sprinkles
Cinnamon scented

gloomy sticky air
looming downpour from the sky
anticipating

Charcoal curls, green grounds
Brown branches, sienna shades
On pale paper of cold cotton
An arousing adventure…

In summer, when the sun is warm
We frolic as nature shows its charm
Living in the moment, feeling bold
We forget winter can be bitter cold.

In summer, I am convicted to stay
I have my own role to play
Being myself, no fear, no shame
Taking risks, but no blame.

It is winter.

Disrespected
Forgotten
Disobeyed
Ignored
Despised
Unrecognised
Un­deserving
Hurting

Watching you behind the wall
i built to keep you safe
that is what i am trying to tell
myself, i am not easy to convince
a wall that hides and covers
true intentions and torrid stares
shallow feelings and sorry sighs
You cannot see me...

to the mirror:
“are you happy?”
“are you where you want to be?”

the mirror:
“my course has changed,
branching out to infinite fractal endings,
wishing i could say i am getting there,
only finding myself making friends with failures.”

At 9:00 assemble the beach watchers on deck
At 10:00 hums an approaching blue ship
At 11:00 a red and a green guide bouys dancing
At 12:00 a pair of morning joggers running
At 13:00 a cormorant drying its wings
At 14:00 a father looking through a lens
At 14:30 his two sons digging for shrimps
At 15:00 a restaurant called „de Zeebries“.

A whole lot of sand...
Blue water in front...

Believing in my dreams
Accepting of my whims
You pick me up when I fall
You‘re my listening wall

With you I can be
The best version of me
I don‘t have to pretend,
Please stay ‘til the end.

Our glances meet,
I wish for us to be closer,
we stand side by side,
I hope to hold your hand,
our fingers are interlocked,
I long to wrap my arms around you,
facing each other in an embrace,
I can not help but kiss your lips,
I want more...
Does love breed greed?

Please take care of me
Don’t forget that I am here
Don’t walk ahead of me
Please hold my hand

You used to make sure that I am fine
You stared into my eyes
You never wanted to leave my side
You used to warm my hands.

Watching dramas and movies
Borrowed feelings from reel stories
Digging deep emotions long missed
How did it feel when we kissed?

Volumes of silent sighs echoing in darkness
Exhaling in a languidly soothing release
Escaping  entrapment from deep slumber
Expelling aches, angst, sorrows, surrender...

A moment of being barely connected
I could clearly hear what you shouted
I sensed the gravity of your worded  sound
Yet, the message, I could not understand

Not because of lack of comprehension
I am learned, I am not a *****
It is slowly dawning on me, this notion
This inorganic forced connection.

A heart ever-growing, accepting, loving
A soul ever-glowing, revering, endearing
A multitude of folds, a gathering of creases
under your direction, a character undresses

Romeo, you made a number of oritsuru
Romeo, my friend, you were an oritsuru, too
You are now a Hikari no tenshi, fly high
Have a great journey, rest in peace, goodbye!

I am healing like a dehydrated hydrangea
My skin is blotted with tints of sepia
My limbs are branches of a willow tree
A stone is warmer than me, more free

A straight line holding the water
Stopping it from spilling
Strands of endless laces
Shades of blue shimmering.

Behind the line lies an island
With the giants, Ben and Eye, to see
A palace without a real king
With a queen and queens-to-be.

Roaring rotating wings of a robot dragonfly
Yellow with blue stripes up about 10 feet high
Sun worshippers raise their phones to shoot
That the patient survives is moot.

Refreshing breeze blowing from sea, soothing my skin, relaxing my brain
Soft fine soaked sand accepting my steps, caressing my feet, giving in
Blankets of barnacles whispering stories, as I squeeze through water breaker poles
This same walk, others have taken, from different places, of different colors, blessed souls.

A song woke me up this morning
Invited me looking out, searching
I didn’t find the singer waiting
Instead I was greeted by the moon perching...

Trrrr torrrr tirrrr, tirrrr torrrr trrrr
I was pulled away from slumber
Peeking at the window as I heard
Which bird was it, I wondered.

Grey thick blankets of clouds up high
Keep the sun rays from piercing the sky
It crackles and blitzes, loud and bright
Nature is imposing its power and might.

My fears blanket over my desire
To rekindle the sleeping fire
Afraid of sighs, false hopes and tears
Tired of longings and wishes nobody hears.

I reach out, wrap my arms around you
You accept it, not much of a show
I wish that you will embrace me, too
That you want me, I need to know

A wish ignored, rejected...

Forever swimming in the lilac lagoon
Floating, paddling, wading
Forever keeping afloat
Feeling heavier everyday

My being me turns you
Into a monster
With a sharp dagger tongue

Searching for a cave
Dark and deep
led me to needing you

I thought I was a hero
Big and bold, I could see through
I nurtured monsters, cradled danger
I am a hero no longer

I thought I was a dove
Any war, I could conquer with love
I crossed borders, sieged every height
I have had my last flight

I thought...