Blue bird,
every time I set you free
unfailingly, you fly back to me.
Perched out of reach
never out of mind
evermore locked in my gravity.

I know, blue bird,
the quandary of a heart
so willingly ensnared.
I remember the soothing drum
of its unquiet content.

I have longed for the keen
euphoric sting you bring
even as I banished you.
Without you
I am an empty nest.
I am so… heavy
with you.

Only I can let you go.
Only you can return to me.

I have learned the importance
of self-care in my darkest moments.

I have learned not to chide myself
for the past I have left behind.
I have taught myself not to belittle
the seemingly insignificant ways
I take care of myself every day.

My body that continues
working, every cog turning,
no matter how I am feeling
fills me with wonder.

My mind, a juggernaut,
surprises me every time
with its resilience.

So I do all I can
to make myself feel better.
I try to take care of things now
so I am not overwhelmed later.

Sometimes I have something to say.
Sometimes I want to say nothing
about what I really feel –
I bury it within layers.

It is easy to write because
sometimes I have something to say.
Every word sprouts out eagerly,
a bamboo grove by morning light.

I begin my expedition
without a set destination.
Sometimes I have something to say;
I end up saying something else.

I’ve built a wall of reticence;
poems are the open window.
Reluctant as I am to talk,
sometimes I have something to say.

Spark
a rebellion
among the sheep.

Watch them burn out,
go back to sleep.

I love to watch the rain
Rain with a flash of lightning
Lightning with a dash of thunder
Thunder makes me wonder
Wonder at the wayward wind
The wayward wind sets the rhythm
The rhythm sways the world
The world is in chaos
Chaos is peaceful
Peaceful is the moment
The moment when I am at home
At home watching the rain.