Carry me with your waves
I cannot separate thoughts from it
Your exterior
I bite into it, that's where the addiction lies
Creo que sientes lo mismo
Even your aches I think of every aching moment
This is the devil, but i am done with heaven

A balance beam
the edge of the sidewalk

Excavator escapades
the sandpit

Sundry scenes eclipsing face
Mom's cooking

Turn around
Nothing

I long to be an old woman
Fingers stricken by wrinkles and skin memory of past love
I want to gaze longingly into the Miamian sunset and ponder on missed chances
I want to make cheesecake a long forgotten friend i venture back to with fondness every fortnight or so
I want to fall into trivialities like bingo or muffin making
To die beach side and ancient so that blood memory awakens
And with my last breath ecstasy implodes and i become the last generation again
The clock isn't real
Its digits are manmade
And with it comes functionality like we are predestined to coup against
I will be your old lady
And you will be that soft, young ear that my razor blade lined drivel will fall against

You meet me
I steal from you
What I stole is now part of me
You will forever be with me

I miss my father
He's not dead, but it seems like he is
Doesn't talk
At least not to me
Where'd you go dad?
I know I couldn't be all the son you wanted
But I tried
I know we tend to forget about dads
But from the bottom of my heart I wanted to say


I love you, dad.

While your body leaves
I can feel that your soul remains
And with it my mind
Like the two lovers we could never be

I feel desire
A desire so strong and papable amidst the futility
Like a search party for a child everyone knows is gone
A seemingly juxtaposed love affair between a rat and a coyote
A tethering feeling with no slack in its shackles
O, my dearest, trap me not alike fortunado
For I have not wronged you

Do you ever wonder
The answer to a question
That your brain knows
But your heart ignores

love, torture filled yet beauteous

reminiscent of flora emerging from ash after a forest fire

like a waning gibbous projecting yin and yang we too were light and dark

I have still not seen the stars but your words of them carry me there

Grace my presence
Give way in a field of flowers
Allow me to carry you
A kiss whilst spinning
Just like the movies
The sweat betwixt our hands
The petrichor from the rain
Lest we grow apart
Don't let go

In a hole playing with toy guns
Childhood caressing me
In a hole wielding a shovel
Adulthood killing me
In a hole where I am pale
Death saving me

This eyeballs
It pursues you
It bores its tendrils deep beyond any dermal capacity
No matter if a jaunt, stride, or sprint
It is (in) the second person
Can you see yourself?

A whisper in your ear
One last time
If it all were to cease
Would I cross your mind
Past that initial time?
For me
You'd be that sunset
The one that never goes away
Would you notice
The star that has already faded
Its light barely reaching your eyes

A whisper almost silent
Grazes across the breadth of my face
Your aura pierces me
I stick my arm into your chest
I feel for your soul
I grab your life in my hand
I rip it from you
It slips from my hand like sand
I can never pick up every grain

I know not of what I write
As it does not come from me
In fact I'm unconscious
My heart is writing for me

Autumn, fell into you
fell in love and your arms
and let the dam break open
and the tears flowed like sweat
like sweat when we were so close
treated everyday like our last because it very well could have been
and then it was
we didn't notice the trees dying
so human
the conifers watching
watching us frolick in the remains of their deciduous brothers

Awaken I did to fleeting darkness bellowing from the sky
On the wrong side of the bed I fell off onto the floor
Dazed, I decided to go back to sleep
I woke up on the wrong side of the floor.
I'm getting too old for this ****.

Under the threshold is the water of the abyss
I worry I may drown at times

I had a dream
I sat on a rock with a girl, i could not see her face
She told me she'd meet me there again
We always missed each other
She'd sketch little drawings for me on the rock
I knew it had to be you
I saw you in the dream, sat with you
Another girl walked in and said
"Did you like what i did with our place"
I knew then I was meant
To let you go

When the anger seeps from my eyes
I breathe
I breathe and think of your heart
Beating in your chest as I listen
We are so close in that moment
Yet still I feel neglected
How to kiss and love
To tell me you have doubts
My dreams have dreamt through you
Your eyes
I have seen us
Only us

Let it be know I let sand fall through each crevice
And when you watch it all fall
You don't count the grains until about 10 left
I count it like seconds
As the texture slowly leaves my nerves like a girl you hate (love)
Those with cancer, suicidal ideation and a beautiful wife
Become aware of their fleeting beaches too late
So they make snow angels in it
Slowly sinking beneath instead of standing up
And the sand awaits the next eager, quasi-benevolent boy
It is a line to the beach, I check my ticket number
"21"

Can you feel the heat
That radiated off you
That followed you
As you left
It slowly died
With every step you took
Away from me

Does it hurt
when the nature around you
beckons

and you know it all
to be connected

yet you feel so foreign
like the atoms repel you

you are not a ghost like you think

Sight: Her salmon pink skin on her sage green dress
Caught my eye every time

Touch: The way her warmth flowed to me
Made me feel fire once more

Scent: Her 5 dollar cotton candy perfume
Lifted me from my feet like a pie window side

Taste: The bitter lemon chicken we had cooked
Rested on her lips when I came back for seconds

Hearing: When she'd sing, my god her voice
Was better than every song I did and didn't hear

So much so, I had forgotten my sixth sense

come to me cats and dog
in the meadow you all roam
Leah, I watched you take your last breath
And the winter air froze my tears
The moon shined on you and made you glimmer
and through it your soul rose
The moon was half dark as it was light
like you and your sister
and a star placed too perfectly at your side
which I believe was your brother

and God gave me a chance to look at all of you one last time

Run kids and don't look back

I'll be right behind you

We often start a poem with you or I
Sometimes unintentionally
It just goes to show
How much the soul needs another person

May we draw a dream
A photo in a field
Can we share what we've seen
And your love I may wield
Perhaps a game where we die
A picnic where we say nothing
We can let our pet birds fly
Just give me something

Each turn a reflection of the last
All too familiar
When will you realize
Your deja vu is just redundancy

Give way, and let fall what has been held
I will be there to grab
To embrace
Whatever it is
I will be the dam

A dog park of all places
you loved dogs very much
more than yourself
Oh if you could have been a fish
A panther
An alien
An idea
I think you'd have known your impact
One of a meteor birthing a 100 mile crater
All I got from you was the blues of your eyes
Like an ocean that seeped endlessly
Endless, you were

I run my finger in etched initials in park benches
Wishing to know their fate
Me+you "never"
❤️

I watch you from your window
Your angel
How you move, how you breathe
Sewn into my eyelids
Why can't you see me
Just look, only for a second
But for now
I am your shadow

The hell that so many say awaits us
Is right at our feet
We survive it everyday

I wish I could spill out onto a page
melt into the lines
and give you the meaning that way
but I am confined to words
these auditory hallucinations impersonating symbols
Maybe you could find it in my eyes
But I think you'll never find it at all
Not until I am words on a sheet
with two dates
one of air and one of earth
Should you shed a tear
feel fire too
Feel for the world as I could not

If ever struck with the frigid end
I hope we may meet again
If not by fate then by chance
And may you run to me
In this field of flora
Never to worry again
You and I
Till our end's end

I saw you staring
Out of the corner of my eye
Like a vulture at a carcass
You sat next to me
And kept staring at me
You tried to speak
But i did not hear (i did)
I was a fool
i will probably not get to see your hoop earrings again.

I see a butterfly emerging from a cocoon
Struggling to fly
I know somewhere, someone is watching me
that butterfly that is struggling to fly
Every down hill for you is an uphill for someone else