Carry me with your waves
I cannot separate thoughts from it
Your exterior
I bite into it, that's where the addiction lies
Creo que sientes lo mismo
Even your aches I think of every aching moment
This is the devil, but i am done with heaven

A balance beam
the edge of the sidewalk

Excavator escapades
the sandpit

Sundry scenes eclipsing face
Mom's cooking

Turn around
Nothing

You meet me
I steal from you
What I stole is now part of me
You will forever be with me

While your body leaves
I can feel that your soul remains
And with it my mind
Like the two lovers we could never be

I miss my father
He's not dead, but it seems like he is
Doesn't talk
At least not to me
Where'd you go dad?
I know I couldn't be all the son you wanted
But I tried
I know we tend to forget about dads
But from the bottom of my heart I wanted to say


I love you, dad.

I feel desire
A desire so strong and papable amidst the futility
Like a search party for a child everyone knows is gone
A seemingly juxtaposed love affair between a rat and a coyote
A tethering feeling with no slack in its shackles
O, my dearest, trap me not alike fortunado
For I have not wronged you

In a hole playing with toy guns
Childhood caressing me
In a hole wielding a shovel
Adulthood killing me
In a hole where I am pale
Death saving me

This eyeballs
It pursues you
It bores its tendrils deep beyond any dermal capacity
No matter if a jaunt, stride, or sprint
It is (in) the second person
Can you see yourself?

A whisper in your ear
One last time
If it all were to cease
Would I cross your mind
Past that initial time?
For me
You'd be that sunset
The one that never goes away
Would you notice
The star that has already faded
Its light barely reaching your eyes

Do you ever wonder
The answer to a question
That your brain knows
But your heart ignores

Grace my presence
Give way in a field of flowers
Allow me to carry you
A kiss whilst spinning
Just like the movies
The sweat betwixt our hands
The petrichor from the rain
Lest we grow apart
Don't let go

A whisper almost silent
Grazes across the breadth of my face
Your aura pierces me
I stick my arm into your chest
I feel for your soul
I grab your life in my hand
I rip it from you
It slips from my hand like sand
I can never pick up every grain

love, torture filled yet beauteous

reminiscent of flora emerging from ash after a forest fire

like a waning gibbous projecting yin and yang we too were light and dark

I have still not seen the stars but your words of them carry me there

I know not of what I write
As it does not come from me
In fact I'm unconscious
My heart is writing for me

Autumn, fell into you
fell in love and your arms
and let the dam break open
and the tears flowed like sweat
like sweat when we were so close
treated everyday like our last because it very well could have been
and then it was
we didn't notice the trees dying
so human
the conifers watching
watching us frolick in the remains of their deciduous brothers

I had a dream
I sat on a rock with a girl, i could not see her face
She told me she'd meet me there again
We always missed each other
She'd sketch little drawings for me on the rock
I knew it had to be you
I saw you in the dream, sat with you
Another girl walked in and said
"Did you like what i did with our place"
I knew then I was meant
To let you go

When the anger seeps from my eyes
I breathe
I breathe and think of your heart
Beating in your chest as I listen
We are so close in that moment
Yet still I feel neglected
How to kiss and love
To tell me you have doubts
My dreams have dreamt through you
Your eyes
I have seen us
Only us

Can you feel the heat
That radiated off you
That followed you
As you left
It slowly died
With every step you took
Away from me

Awaken I did to fleeting darkness bellowing from the sky
On the wrong side of the bed I fell off onto the floor
Dazed, I decided to go back to sleep
I woke up on the wrong side of the floor.
I'm getting too old for this ****.

Under the threshold is the water of the abyss
I worry I may drown at times

We often start a poem with you or I
Sometimes unintentionally
It just goes to show
How much the soul needs another person

Each turn a reflection of the last
All too familiar
When will you realize
Your deja vu is just redundancy

Give way, and let fall what has been held
I will be there to grab
To embrace
Whatever it is
I will be the dam

I watch you from your window
Your angel
How you move, how you breathe
Sewn into my eyelids
Why can't you see me
Just look, only for a second
But for now
I am your shadow

I saw you staring
Out of the corner of my eye
Like a vulture at a carcass
You sat next to me
And kept staring at me
You tried to speak
But i did not hear (i did)
I was a fool
i will probably not get to see your hoop earrings again.

I see a butterfly emerging from a cocoon
Struggling to fly
I know somewhere, someone is watching me
that butterfly that is struggling to fly
Every down hill for you is an uphill for someone else

When I stepped into your room
On your bed where we used to love
It took everything I had to not cry
A hand covering below my eyes
To not let you see the emotion fall
Along my face
So devoid of anything
I'm sorry I left without a word

I wonder why
Why a sunset evokes so much emotion
I sat on a hill facing one
I knew it would be back the next day
But it felt like the world was ending

May we draw a dream
A photo in a field
Can we share what we've seen
And your love I may wield
Perhaps a game where we die
A picnic where we say nothing
We can let our pet birds fly
Just give me something

If ever struck with the frigid end
I hope we may meet again
If not by fate then by chance
And may you run to me
In this field of flora
Never to worry again
You and I
Till our end's end

We lay together amongst the earth
Gazing at what seems unobtainable
I am in awe
The light that may not even be there
Oh it is so hot
I am grounded again
By the star that sits next to me

A tiny Midwestern boy
The hay in his pocket at the corn maze
Grown by the ways of pine trees and baseball practice
With his only motivation that things will get worse

The hell that so many say awaits us
Is right at our feet
We survive it everyday

As quickly as the first is whisked away
The second was too far to begin with
There has now been far too many to count
I stopped after the first
They seem the same after a while
Like a stack of rocks on a log
Nevertheless
I stack them

I miss the analog sounds of the controller

I miss the overlapping sounds of footsteps amongst the sticks and leaves

I miss the sonorous sounds of a reel being cast into shallow water draped in ripples

I miss soviet style ballet dancing amidst the arguments in the kitchen

I miss the back pain from letting you have the nice side of the bed

I miss letting the love **** me

A brand new Lego set is splayed on the floor.
Fluttering pages threaten calloused fingers as the reader flips through pages.
The loose pieces clink together as delicate hands sift through them.
The bright colors flash and blend together in the pile.
Piece by piece the two finish their structure.
Though some pieces are missing, and some are out of place, the structure is beautiful, and they are content.
As it's lifted to its final place, one of the hands slip, and the structure falls to the floor.
It crumbles apart.
For a moment, the builders hold each other, then one speaks to the other.
"That's okay. They're meant to be put together again."

Does my name strike you in the chest
like arctic wind on bare skin
or a heatwave from an oven door


Or have the memories and associations turned to blank
An image to picture
A scent to happenstance
The words to just sounds


Did my face fade to another then to silhouettes then to shapes
only to appear in a restaurant booth or each puddle along Route 8

Carry with you that piece of me however small it may be
even if my name is just another outline amidst infinity

a man who lives in semantics

who ignores colors and exists monochromatically

wept when he could not solve his problems

he spent so long with the flower under the microscope

that he never got a chance to smell it

Springtime comes and we are still cold
Where you wave flowers in lieu of my hands
Chrysanthemums are my favorite
In them lie hidden a poison veiled by colors and patterns
But you didn't know
They were dead before my fingers connected
She loves me, she loves me too much i say as pick the dead petals
Before they were all gone and my breath to the wind
The angel on my shoulder is ignoring me and the devil is on vacation
and its just me
all alone with my vices and stonewall demeanor
tall as the shadow of the tree i hide under
and you are so high up
breathing in mountain air and living
As above so below it hurts
miles above me and yet you dont look down on me
Instead you extend a hand down
And i kept getting lower and lower
Until your arm reached its limit
And i peel my skin off trying to find the reason
the chronic ennui and morose feeling juxtaposed with your canyon length smile
To realize I am no more a man the more layers are gone
just getting closer inside to the boy who never healed
You never saw all the times i wanted to cry
to wail and scream and tell you what was killing me
the poison in me for so long
i tried to keep it contained
only for it to spread like wildfire
Why did it take you dying for me to love you?