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 Apr 2015 Modern Serenity
arham
I held the cold piece of metal against my warm skin
I put it down, I picked it up
I put it back down
Maybe it was because I was too much of a coward
Or maybe it was because I wasn't enough of a coward
Life was a messy business
Cheating it was even messier
 Apr 2015 Modern Serenity
arham
It takes processing.
Every slice,
every tear,
one pint after the next.

Waiting for pain,
once again,
the cycle isn't bound to end.

Under control,
the edge in hand,
a round of jagged scars all around.

On the house,
a bout of pain,
a pitcher of grief,
can't get enough of this misery.
 Apr 2015 Modern Serenity
arham
The clickety-click-clack-clack of keys clicking
and the creek-creek-creek of the rusty chairs,
you grinding cavities into your teeth.
Is this your definition of time passing?
Time here is slow.
Almost unmoving.
You see a window,
consider the possible way through it.
Boredom does have a tidy death streak.
 Apr 2015 Modern Serenity
arham
I'm a big city girl
but sometimes it feels like
my life is in a hole
with everything caving in
and the landslide suffocating.
 Apr 2015 Modern Serenity
arham
I hate to break it to you but,
This isn't just a rut.
Your best friend is a grenade,
Yeah it is a bit clichéd.
But I'm a ticking time bomb,
That's slowly coming undone.

He said he was queer,
You laughed like I wasn't here.
Truth is I'm a little gay,
That's a lie I'm rainbows all the way.
Now if only you knew,
But that'd never cross your view.
 Apr 2015 Modern Serenity
arham
They teased and taunted,
Said things that had me haunted.
The curve of my thigh,
How I stood so tall and high.
But ther never really saw,
On my thighs the scars all raw.
We touch the bark, blessed in ignorant knowledge

That what we feel is the extent of reality.

The learned man nods, trapped in his own hubris

As he opines from on top of the tree in the valley,

Declaring there is nothing beyond the forest;

All he can see are trees as far as the eye can see.


We scuttle across the ground, looking up in awe

As the wise man is joined by another.

They nod to each other, trapped in their hubris

As one, each man sharing his small secrets.

They climb higher up the tree, quick to point out

That of the forest there is no end to guess.


Satisfied at last, they climb down to our questions,

And patiently answer, without hesitation:

There is only the woods of the forest you see,

We've seen it all, we demand you believe.

Don't look at the edge, there's nothing for you,

Just tree upon tree, we've seen it, it's true.


Downcast,

We scuttle away,

Our tails tucked between our legs.

We think some more and go back to them

Who, being learned, are known as wise men.

It mustn't be true, we're sure you're mistaken,

It can't be just trees...


We plead for some sign, and without hesitation,

They growl and declare with words we're forsaken.

We're driven away to a home far from home

And left to die in the woods all alone.


We pick up children and wander away,

Cursed to walk through the forest and cry.

We wander for years, heading due North

And the forest, it slowly changed as we walked.

The trees, once so dense, revealed fields of grass,

And rivers, hills, mountains and sky.


Oh the sky, what wondrous vision is this?

So wide and filled with lights, what bliss!

We've only seen the branches of trees above.

We must tell the others, I'm sure they don't know.

We choose to return on the path we can't miss.

We turn back our steps, heedless to peril.


They greet us with spears and declare us begone.

We try to tell them, but they will not listen,

They scream forsaken and call us the devil.

We demand they look up to the sky up above,

But the wise men, trapped in their hubris,

Fling words like arrows, too many to count,

And we sadly retreat to hope the others get out.


The wise man watch us turn back our steps

And declare in a rush that those who repent

Can come back to the woods

Where's there's nothing but trees

And the lies that we've said?

Well, they were never meant.


Some others turn back and scuttle away,

We watch sadly as their backs turn south.

Unsure, I look up, and the branches cover me,

Green upon green, tree after tree.

But just there, flashing between leaves

Shines the sky and the stars and

I'd rather be free.
Bus
Faces lost in blank expression

Wait in stasis for their stop,

Shuttled from one potential

To the next like letters

In a mailman’s bag.

The sounds and smells of strangers,

The uncomfortable touches,

The squeezing in spaces,

The jerking rhythm of the ride,

The pram queens who sag

Against the railing

While their kids twist and turn

And scream at the lack of fun

In the faces of blank expression,

While couples tongues quietly wag.

Youthful monsters sit at the back

Playing tunes for the irritation

Of the old school music hacks,

While grandma dozes against the glass,

Shopping drawn up like a wall

To protect her from her past.

Father and daughter

Playing a game,

Sitting next to two lovers

Who are doing the same.  

The tickling natter of friends,

The glare of phones,

The lying dog’s stare.

Life on the buses,

A slice of people

For the cost of a fare.
What have we here?

A shy boy who wouldn’t swing

When all the other monkeys played,

Who didn’t like to speak

In case the others laughed and brayed,

Who didn’t quite fit in

With the other boys in school,

And ducked and dived

And hid from sports

When he couldn’t grasp the rules.

The boy who missed the girls

While he hid within his room,

And couldn’t speak when they were there

In case they spoke his doom

And wished and dreamed

For something more

Than others would assume.

The boy within the man

Who argued to the end;

The man of right and wrong

Who fought the standard trend,

And stood up for

The little things

That no others would defend.

The sad pathetic loser,

The one who had no friends,

Fought the fight for all of us

While we scrabbled to ascend,

And, at the last, the misanthrope,

When he could do no more,

He stood beside his principles

That he learned so hard before.

He watched the so-called good

Sell out their souls for lies,

Either to themselves

Or the devil in disguise.

He stood for truth and honesty,

And was typically despised,

But now he’s gone,

We’re all alone;

Slaves we realise.
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