All Again For You- We The Kings
You were everything that's bad for me*

Pheromone Cvlt - Letlive.
All the boys will grow up to be those broken men

Follow You- Bring Me the Horizon
So you can drag me through Hell if it meant I could hold your hand

Boston- Moose Blood
Bored with nothing to do, but lay around listening to Deja Entendu thinking about you..

Come Home - Tonight Alive
Laying under the light of the full moon and I would give anything to be there with you.

Drown - Bring Me the Horizon
What doesn't destroy you, leaves you broken instead

All Along The Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix
But you and I we've been through that and this is not our fate

Dreamers Disease- Letlive.
While I’m out here making history, you’re making love

True Friends - Bring Me the Horizon
Karma has no deadline

Better Off This Way - A Day to Remember
When will you act your age

The Divine Zero - Pierce The Veil
Maybe I can swim into your thoughts like your drugs do

The Other Side - Tonight Alive
I meant it every time I said I love you; And there are so many things I wanted to say, but I was a mess.

Lane Boy - TwentyOnePilots
I know a thing or two about pain and darkness; Who would you live and die for on that list

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot-Brand New
You say you wanted a solution; you just wanted to be missed

Your Guardian Angel- Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul

Cardiology- Good Charlotte
No book that I can find has the answer, a medicine can't cure the fact that I'm still yours

All My Heart- Sleeping With Sirens
I could have been better and stronger for you and me

Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
*Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone; Oh if my voice could reach back through the past

They say that "You're your own worst critic."
In that case, I have it out for myself.

I say this because whenever I create something, whether it be poetry or fiction
I find every f̶l̶a̶w̶
Every e̶r̶r̶o̶r̶
Every m̶i̶s̶t̶a̶k̶e̶
Every word
And point it out
Showing myself the absolute m̶e̶a̶n̶i̶n̶g̶  nothingness they convey
Reminding myself that

All my work is a̶c̶c̶e̶p̶t̶a̶b̶l̶e̶  terrible
I a̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶r̶i̶t̶e̶r̶  am not good
I should c̶r̶e̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶  give up

And with that
The familiar feeling of doubt continues to crawl under my skin and through my head
Whispering sweet nothings into my ear as I type
As I look at the screen,
As I look at what I have accomplished:
s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶
Nothing

I l̶o̶v̶e̶  hate it

I leave it be
Unfinished and hated
For d̶a̶y̶s̶
W̶e̶e̶k̶s̶
Months at a time
Until I come back
Remembering the words
Remembering the hatred

Mr. Hemingway had once said “You shouldn’t write if you can’t write.”
Brilliant man.
Brilliant writer.

However
People seem to enjoy my words and my writing
So the question arises:
"What if I can write, but am convinced that I can't?"
Should I still give up?
Should I force myself to write, as I am now
Hating every w̶o̶r̶d̶  flaw?
What should I do if the only force that stops me from writing freely
is my own self hatred?

The only option to combat this doubt
is to convince myself that I am g̶o̶o̶d̶
T̶a̶l̶e̶n̶t̶e̶d̶
C̶r̶e̶a̶t̶i̶v̶e̶
A̶m̶a̶z̶i̶n̶g̶
A̶r̶t̶i­̶s̶t̶i̶c̶
Me

*******̶

My own d̶e̶p̶r̶e̶s̶s̶i̶o̶n̶  worst critic.
**** you for being right.

The thought of you crossed my mind again today
For the first time, it didn't bring a smile
It brought chaos to my head
Sending my emotions into overdrive
What if I actually love you?
I'm not afraid of love
Just scared you don't feel the same
Isn't that the most terrifying possibility of all?
To love but never be loved in return
Like watching someone else's back
Before a dagger goes straight through yours

When I look at you
I feel like I can see the entire galaxy
Every planet, star, moon
Lives and breathes inside of you

The way your eyes light up when you smile
Is prettier than a sky full of stars
For you are as beautiful and mysterious
As the universe with a heartbeat

Life's just fine
Living in the background
Watching people pass
In the halls, in the streets
Nobody bothers to give you a second glance

You're always right there
To celebrate every moment
Listen to every story
You are the number one supporter for each friend
But not a single one will ask you how you are

They assume you're fine, at least you hope
Maybe they don't actually care at all
But as long as you're there for them
I guess it doesn't really matter

You don't matter, not really
Not when you're never the first choice
You've got a lot to give
But nobody wants what you've got

Not when you live in the background

I have regrets
Like the fact that I was the last person
To speak to you before your life ended
Maybe I could have stopped you
Maybe you would have lived to see the sunset one more time
But I was asleep
So now I watch the sunset every night for the chance to see your eyes
And I stay up all night waiting for the opportunity
To look for your smile once more in the sunrise

I regret never telling you how important you were to me
How much you made me smile
Or how often your jokes made me laugh over and over again
So now whenever I can
I tell my friends how much they mean to me
How their presence brings a smile to my face
How their jokes always brighten my day
Because I know now that you never know
When that one moment could be the last

I regret not loving you enough
We promised to fix each other
To put our two halves together to make one whole
But now you're gone
I will always be missing my other half
Because I could never make you happy
I would never be enough
Perhaps I never will be

Living with regret makes every day painful
The what ifs, the could have beens
But without these regrets
I would make the same mistakes over and over
I have confidence I'm living every day to the fullest
I'm living every day for you
So that next time
I won't have regrets