The feelings of love are so wonderful
But when the newness fades away, does the romancing stop

Do the word "I love you" still have their true meaning
Do the looks of passion change to looks of disparity
Do the words "let's do something together' mean go on you own

Things do seem to be comfortable, but if you do not show real love
Sometimes things happen, sometimes

Interest in another for something different, from the lack of feelings
Your lives become separated and you individualize, yet still together
Time passes, your just another face in the room, a hello and a good bye

Just some thoughts, I let so many go and one that was very special
I do ponder at times about past loves, would I do anything different

Probably not then, but maybe now?

I am the chain between yesterday and tomorrow.
The center, the filling between the endless ends.
When the before is no more,
when the after is yet to come.
The past will eventually disintegrate,
and the nebulous future is merely a hazy window.
But what about me?
I myself am always here.
I myself am the eternal *now.

He grabbed me by the hair
And beat me up.
I said, daddy stop it
Please not here.
Daddy, I don't know who you are
Daddy, you're not my daddy
Any more
Daddy, go away.

He punched me several places,
Several times
Until I bled.
Until I hated him enough
To spit on his face.
Until I loved him enough
To believe I deserved it.

He screamed I was a *****.
He screamed it so many times
It got to my head
And changed the way
I saw myself.

I said, daddy not here,
Not today.
But he beat me up
Harder.


F.Z.**N

waking up
before the sun meets the sky
to throw all interest aside
and float along with the tide
yet again

spend time like nickels and dimes
another ticket or fine
wont matter much see ive gone,
and sold myself

maybe its foolish to think
that i could somehow escape
these chains and live for today

im bound, to live within
this place thats full of houses
but has no homes
ive found, the more we build
the more we pull eachother toward the ground

no one goes to the crazyhouse
for having a hand
that repeats
itself.

in a new place
my brother
does one
of two
things:

masturbates
or says
deja vu.

if he didn’t tell me
I wouldn’t know
I’ve slapped myself
awake.

one of us
then one of us
will die.

For once, I would like to pretend
that my hair looks fine and my thighs are slim.
For once, I want to feel as if I could walk outside
without regretting my taste in clothes.
For once, even if it'll only last for a single, fleeting moment,
is it too much to ask to feel pretty and presentable?