i saw a ghost
between the commercials
in the middle of the night
and for a moment
i couldn't hear anything
except the static

i knew you'd call
so i didn't answer

like a ghost ship
from the fog, she appeared -
she had snakes in her hair
and rubies in her eyes
as i drank from the ocean
i wondered if this was my time -
like a ghost ship
carried by the wind, she appeared -
with spiders' webs in her lungs
and moonshine in her heart
i took her hand
to walk together in the dark

automatic doors
never worked for me
- and in a mirror
i saw the past
- and when it is early
the blood rushes to my throat
- and i see red
every time,
i dream

her fingers crawled
around my mouth
like a spider

it's almost 2 years
since i saw her last,
her eyes in her hands
and my heart in my lap -
- and it's been hours i can't count
days since we spoke,
i swim in frequencies and signals
and drink in the smoke -
- and these mornings, i fade with the stars,
and at night, i come home late and sit in my car

i could smell
pink cotton candy and cinnamon in the breeze
buzzing chimes and bells
change machines ringing coins against metal
children laughing and running by
a few cars pass with their windows down and i feel
coarse sand in a damp bathing suit
against my skin
i see boxes of fireworks opening
and the sun is going down
if only i knew this was the last time we'd be there like this