I don't mind being another notch on your belt
Just as long as we both get what we want
I don't know what the ******* care to have
But I want you

He was like an addiction.
The kind I needed
to hide from everyone
The kind I needed
to make myself feel okay again.
He numbed the pain
and everything
just ended up foggy-
a haze of gray etched
between these fingers
that would sweat without him.
I craved the touch too much.
So I tried to quit him
when he made me feel like
dying was a better option.
But the withdrawal became
too much for my chest to handle
too much for me to swallow
and I ended up sick-
wishing I was pulling him to my lips and savoring every minute.
He was the drug I ran into
and became my addiction ever since.
These hands shake without him.
I am calm in his embrace.
Do not take me with you
for I do not need fixing anymore.
This drug will keep me warm
His love will keep me warm.
They say addiction changes you into someone you don't want to be.
Maybe they're right-
Or maybe this is me
and always will be.

do you know
i think of you
in my saddest moments
bittersweet memories
fill my head

but i feel no comfort
with these thoughts of you
only reminders
of where my sadness
was planted.

I am lost
I love you
Who am I
Who are you
We were friends
Silent lips lie
Is this reality
Nothing got better
People aren't nice
I am hurt
I hurt you
Do you remember
We're all tired
Same routine everyday
Lost in confusion
Lost in effort
Beautifully painted skies
I've grown up
You were different
I was different
I want ***
I want love
I want pain
A year intoxicated
I didn't know
Failure to myself
Read many books
Leave pain behind
Drink your milk
She's gone now
Life's quickly fading
Words left unsaid
Lust isn't love
I barely exist
Don't forget me
Let yourself heal.

Love the word.

I'm so terrified
But I wanna be different
Reckless and happy
Staring at the stars
Open bottle beside me
But I'm worried
And concerned
And there's nothing I can do

Whoever I am is not something you need
I'm not something you must have in order to survive
Your sun sets and rises in my absence
But I wish that you looked at me as though your world spun on my axis
People don't belong to people
But I hoped you'd want me to be yours
It didn't matter to me how you showed me you cared
With words or actions
I waited with baited breath
But it never seemed to be what you were searching for
It was never me