Raza
sounds like the Ra'zac in real life is the
word origin of "race" is the
world origin of "I hate you because I
can" I race
away from race and riot quietly in my
mind
without hope of
escaping my body my
flinch
away from a black
man walking my
instinct to correct double
negatives when really they aren't
not
right;
I'm not right

Today I put some
shirts away and cooked some
chicken in the microwave I am
getting better at that -- doing
it is not so hard now that I've
gotten a hang
of it again I even went
outside for a bit in jeans
in the sticky summer four
o'clock (not my smartest
thought) but I went I
felt the sweat and sun and I
smiled

I'm good, not
bad not in
need of a thing no
thank you no really I am
good look at my smile with
the teeth showing dimples in
attendance so what if my eyes are
absent see me
be good because I am absolutely
angelic happy to be
alone
so leave
you can go now

I'm good, not
bad not in
need of a thing no
thank you no really I am
good look at my smile with
the teeth showing dimples in
attendance so what if my eyes are
absent see me
be good because I am absolutely
angelic happy to be
alone
so leave
you can go now

There are precious few at ease
with moral ambiguities,
so we act as though they don't exist.







              ---Wizard of Oz in "Wicked," lyricist Stephen Swartz

I made up a face in
my mind it was mine but
smoother, cakier, glitterier,
camera-ready to take
on the persona of the dry, spotty layer just
beneath the
surface

when there is no peace is
war a given when war rages is
peace all that's left or
is the conflict between the two more
conflicted than
that
absolute all and no