where do i even start? that girl is the girl of my dreams. my refuge. my strength. my love. my hope. my light. my earth. my every ******* planet there is. my whole galaxy. her eyes are what makes up the stars in my whole universe. that girl is my everything. she's still everything, but i'm afraid she's no longer mine.
there have been times when i was lost, looking for what really is the reason i'm here. i look for things that i never even thought i could find. i look for home as i'm literally just about to knock on my front door. i look for where to go when i've been walking the same routes ever since. i would always ask myself "should i turn left, or right?" when she was the one face i would see whatever direction i look at. her clothes are smell of my bedroom blanket. her hands are the softness of each of my pillows. i saw her in everything that was at my house. that was until that girl's love came along. i realized that i would sleep better on her arms than i would ever sleep in my own bed. her hands could keep me warmer than my favorite bedsheets. her shoulders would let my heart sleep tighter than the softest cushion we have. her voice sounds more mellifluous than any instrument i play. that girl. that girl's love was home.
on sunny days, give her the sweetest flavor of ice cream there is, don't stop until you find it. and i swear, the cold of its ice would be the opposite of the warmth she will give you in exchange. on nights that she feels as if she isn't enough, make her feel as if she's everything you will ever need. and trust me, there will be nothing in this world that she would ever pick you over. on rainy days, drape her in the warmest of hugs she can ever receive. i swear that if you do so, her heart will never turn cold. she will make jokes yet also be the only one to laugh at it. laugh with her, smile as if you're just waiting for those lips to be on yours. she will try to tell you she loves you but she will be the most timid of all girls out there, so you have to tell her first. when she looks like she's angry for no reason, do not get angry. know that she is only looking for your love and affection. when it seems as if she wants to do everything with you until you get exhausted, know that she only wants to be assured that you will never get tired of her. she's a stubborn girl, you will fight and it'll be over, but she will keep bugging you while she repeatedly says sorry, that's how scared she will be of losing you. when she feels like you're annoyed, she will only vex you more, but all she really wants is for you to know she's really sorry. don't get angry at my beautiful princess, okay? i swear to god and to all gods out there, do not make the same mistakes that i did, it will be the thing that you will regret the most for the rest of your life. because me, i lost the girl that loved me more than she loved anything in this world. i lost the girl that only ever wanted what was best for me. i lost the girl that was willing to smile to make me happy when deep inside, she was breaking. i lost the girl that laughed at my stupid jokes when i couldn't even smile at myself. i lost the girl that gave me the sweetest of kisses when i was going through every sort of bitterness in my life. i lost the girl that was going to stay with me through it all. i lost the only girl that could conjure the storm within me, even when she knows that my words could strike her like lightning. i lost the girl that could stop my earthquakes within, when she knows that the following tsunamis could drown her heart. i lost the girl, the one that loved me the most. i did not deserve her, she was everything i received yet could never give back. i gave her my words yet could never turn them to actions. that girl was my princess, and now, make her feel like a queen for me, alright? make her feel like she owns every land in the earth when the only thing i could give her was my kingdom. make her feel like she's the funniest girl there is when the only thing i made her feel was despair. make her feel happiness when the only thing i made her feel was misery. make her feel like the only girl in your life when i made her feel like there are still other girls that are above her. make her feel like your best written poem when the only thing i made her feel like was most cliché of words. get lost in her love when the only thing i did was search for more. make her feel like your most special of all books when i only made her feel like a chapter in my library. make her feel like her voice is the only thing you'd like to listen to when i made her feel like just one song from my playlist. make her feel like her eyes could show you every galaxy there is when all i did was try out telescopes. make her feel the love i could never give. give her your everything. give her all of your attention when all she feels is ignored. give her your passion on the times when all she could feel is your apathy. give her your soul when she feels like she is the emptiest of all my promises. give her your feet at the times that she cannot stand on her own. give her your hands at the times that she can't even pick herself up from the floor. give her your eyes when she can't see how important she is. give her your ears when she hears her voice as the most horrible tune my instruments have ever played. give her your brightest smiles when she goes through the darkest days of her life. make her feel at home when her family won't. make her dance when i could never even give her the perfect song. and lastly, give her your heart when she feels as if her was too broken, too shattered, too destroyed by me. that girl just wants to see you sacrifice for her after she shows that she would break bones for you. love her like she's the only person you would give your affection to. love her the way that i never did. please, take care of her. don't hurt her the way i did. show her that she's everything when i made her feel like she was never enough.
*best wishes,
the one that never deserved her love