I woke up this morning
And I stared at the ceiling for a while
I did the unthinkable
I woke up
I rushed to my mirror
And looked at my square face
I said to myself, "Towela?"
I felt weak to the sound of my own name
I continued, "I'm sorry. For everything. The life you've had to live, mostly."
I stared at my eyes, I couldn't see much
My eyes were blurred with tears
"I know you've always wanted to hear these words from people that have hurt you before and they don't have the heart to say them to you.
For one reason or the other, they don't think you're important or worth apologising to. I just thought I should let you hear me say them. Maybe you'll feel better."
I stopped. I wanted to see the reaction of my reflection. It just stood there, blunt.
It's always been like that with me.
There's always been two MEs.
One of them is really weak, she's emotional, she needs love, she needs attention and she needs hope because she's always on the verge of giving up.
The other one, she's really tough, she's been there for the Weak ME. She's everything she needs.
If they were to meet each other in different bodies, I'm sure they would be lovers.
Because they've always lived like that, just the two of them.
And they've made my whole body, mind and soul to believe that I would never find someone so emotional and understanding as Weak ME and I would never find someone so encouraging and caring yet strong as Strong ME.
It made sense to me. I just hope it makes sense to you.