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MJ Aug 29
I
Saw him in my sleep last night

He
Held me close, kissed my eyes

He said
Honey, you're used up

broken and bleeding, staining these streets

He said
Darlin', you're dreaming

wake yourself up now, before I leave

I'm
Devil's skin with Angel's smile

I
Wished for him, just like a child

He cried
Only
You're Holy

Kissed my scars, made me weak

He spat
Sweetness
Oh Worthless

Don't make a sound
as I pull these teeth
MJ Aug 3
This is not going to be easy. It is not a small thing. It is going to hurt, and, in all truth, it will ******* up.

Your life is going to change, and while it's not going to change for the better, you will make the most you can with this giant mess you were given. This giant mess of ****. This sadness.

You will be numb for so long, you will begin to open your skin with ***** serrated points, looking inside to try and find your mind.

You'll **** people you can't even remember *******, can't even remember the names of, people you pray you'll never see again.

When you can't take the sadness any longer, you'll develop a taste for speed, and the little orange pills will be the only way you are able to have movement and speech and a fake smile. It will destroy your body.

All of it.

But you will get through it. You'll claw your way out of the hole in the ground you once buried yourself in. It is worth it. Don't give up. Feel this pain, because it's going to be with you for the rest of our lives.

And we'll be okay.
MJ Aug 3
tomorrow is when all the things i write come true.

we'll wake up

smiling, and you'll say       it's happening

and i'll say yes,
quickly.

tomorrow there will be stains and spills

in the bed,
in our bed,     because we won't care
because we never ever have

tomorrow

i will touch your skin
and it won't feel so dangerous. tomorrow

the sun will come and

we'll know it's

just

for us

tomorrow

hasn't come yet        but sometimes        it feels like it's already

here.

tomorrow

hasn't come    yet

and we can't   say   that it certainly
will.
MJ Dec 2018
there were many long hard nights

you had to remind yourself to breathe


but there were one thousand more nightmares

telling you to hold your breath
MJ Dec 2018
She once believed
nothing
she did
would end
in applause

And sustained
shame
that stung
like a sunburn.

She once carried
thoughts
that made
her eyes widen
at night

And nursed
the demons
who knocked
at her door.
MJ Jun 2018
I.

There are men waiting for me. Waiting to chain my ankles and hang me from the ceiling of the tunnel. They have knives, they run them up and down my legs. It's cold and sharp but the blades don't pierce my skin. It feels like a game.

II.

I am on a table and it seems like surgery, but instead of using tools they use their fingertips. They go in and pull out every bad memory. I can feel the memories leave, I can feel myself growing warmer and happier with each strand of bad that is taken away. I am crying. I am crying in my sleep.

III.

Men again, but more like boys. They're younger. There's a group of them outside on the porch. That screen door is not going to stop them. They pick up bats and force themselves into the house. I run into the woods to hide, but I can see. They drown my mother in a tub, they **** my sister with a bat. They get my cat and rip her apart by her limbs. When the sun comes up, I run inside and see my mother's body. I try to drown myself in the tub, too, but then I wake up too soon.
MJ Jun 2018
She

is a song he plays with closed eyes,

heartbreaking and angry,

volumes of many shameful pasts

singing through her chest.


She

is a book he reads with open hands,

her stories scrawled into skin,

like a braille

only he can speak.


She

is the box in which he keeps his heart,

****** and beating

trusting that it's safe.
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