I want to die
I want to die small

I want to lie in my coffin
scars and bones

I want to be so skeletal that it doesnt matter if you dig me up

1 week
or
20 years

after i am buried because i will look exactly the same

i want to die this disgusting fairy
riddled with bad breath and osteoporosis

frozen like a gargoyle from pain
hairless and toothless

She was made out of ribbons and butterflies
She floated with a tragic grace and a melancholy smile painted on her face
She only existed by the magic and wonder of lost yesterdays
There was a quite storm of rage and sorrow trapped in her eyes
She found comfort in the fingertips of deaths cold grip
Though she could no more die than she could sleep or dream
And she could not sleep or dream for she was made of dreams
She lived in streches of hours and days
And inbetween seconds and flashes
She was neither here or there
But always everywhere
The ocean crashed and rolled within the threads of her hair
Tidal waves of mist hid her ever flowing tears
In moments of secrecy she prayed for the extinction of ribbons
And of a burning blaze to consume the last wing of all butterflies

Trying to fill the empty spaces
with coffee stained pages
and the memory of a kiss on a windy night
when you were both drunk and under your closed eyes
there was only the illusion
of a different tomorrow
where birds would sing the music of your mind
where planes would take you
to a place where the roses never die.
You  fall asleep every night picturing yourself
wearing a nice shirt and a pretty **** smile
and in your dreams
her white dress dances around your body
in the shadow of a ****** red sky.

Is it hope or is it just a lie?

Eating crumbs of happiness from the pavement
won't turn you into a pigeon,
you're still a fish
swimming in a bowl of pain
surrounded by the smoke of the cigarette left burning in the heart serving as an ashtray.

And in the end you realize
that life is just a space between hellos and goodbyes.

That temporary smile;
           that temporary pain.

I've been so stressed about tomorrow,
            that I forgot to live today.

I remember the first time..
It crept in,
so quiet
so gentle.
Like how the sky goes black.

But this time it's like a
tsunami, a flash flood
a freefall.

I'm standing on a roof
and suddenly I'm flying through the air
the ground below rising  up to meet me
as my brain assures me
"Just this once is okay."
"You'll be just fine."