i think part of my soul walked away with your words
when they fell out of your mouth
     i think it was something like im done trying
but i cannot quite remember
     because of how quickly my head clouded with the smoke
from hell
     and i cannot quite see your ****** expression
because my eyes fell to the floor almost as fast as my body did
     the white noise is filling my ears and the droning
of your mumbled voice was mildly relaxing as i felt
the control of my body drift away
     i do not know what happened
     all i know is that when you left
you took all my beings with you
     and what more is there for me to do
besides sit around and **** my wrists all day
with the pain from your words
dragged out across my body and into the hole
that you made when you broke my heart

My eyes are actually swollen
Pink and puffed
The trace of an ocean filled with tears leave
     a residue on my face that I cannot erase
I try to shut my eyes and clear my head
But the moment it goes dark I can feel
     your body against mine as we lay down
     before bed
The sound of your hot whisper in my ear is
     piercing to my skin
Sending goosebumps through my body
     and to my legs
My toes are itching to bring me away
I wish my mind would stop playing these
     games
I know you're not here but can you please
     tell me that you will at least try and stay
I know my blood shot eyes are a sight to see
I just ******* wish you would come back
     to me

It's not the same
I understand that his arms are molded
     similar to yours
And his eyes, although different colors,
     hold the same trance against mine like
     yours once did
His voice can put me to sleep like yours
     used to
But I shake before bed because I'm
     nervous
His arms don't wrap themselves around
     my torso like yours did
And looking into his eyes I don't see the
     magic that sparkles deep into your heart
For a second there I thought I was getting over you
Then I found myself begging to be under you

Negative 3
I'm in a loose fitted blouse that's so thin
you could probably see straight through me
Pants that don't cover my calves in the
slightest way
People are calling my crazy
But the cold against my body hurts less
than the way you left
Stinging from the frost will at least leave
rose marks on my cheeks
Unlike your lips have
At least this is bearable
At least this way I can say I feel something

I am physically and emotionally alone
Not only am I situated where the water
     cannot meet the land and the trees do not
          bowl and bend to the seducing of the
               seasons
But you are not here to hold my hand
Your arms do not embrace my chest cavity
     and scream for pleasure in return
I am limp and loose
My body tightens when I hear  noises that
     faintly resemble you
And I feel my heart break at the cracking
     of each passing hour
I understand it's been awhile since we've
     made love on the grass where the strands
          gently touch each open fiber of our bodies
But God I would love a second chance to
     bring you to abandonment with me
And show you how lovely being alone can
     almost
          be

I am alone in my thoughts
And the only thing I can hear is the
     creaking of the world around me
Not from human existence
But from the old entirety of it all
The walls creek from the bustling wind
In rhythm with the white sound traversing
     across the floor to my feet and up to my
          ears
I can almost recognize a smell of musk
One that you once wore when you were
     present in my life

I'm sitting here drowning on my bathroom floor
I've let the tub overfill like the thoughts
collaterally damaging my  head
There's a ring at the door
And the fibers in my heart are screaming at you,
break in and save me
This  heart is too broken to be rescued, and
911 has been on call since the day you decided
to set fire to the pain you've inflicted on me
without hesitation

The water is rising to my waist
I know soon everything will be fine
The door is sealed shut as are my eyes
I have enclosed myself to the peace of mind within
It's risen to my chest
I can feel the blood in my chest
pumping slower and slower,
in preparation for the abrupt stop
soon to occur
Thoughts of us are flashing through my mind of our last
moments
...I'm horribly tempted to run,
feel your face in my hands,
your eyes must look so confused

The water has risen to my nose
And at the very last second..
Like the wave of emotions that pass through my heart
at the thought of you,
the water rushed into the halls
And there you are soaked in your tears at the sight of me
Saving me for the first
and very last time