won’t you keep my photograph in the pocket of your ripped jeans, tucked in tight and close so you can always hold me?

I am a number
rentable flesh and bone.
Chew me up and spit me out
I am just a soul for loan
My hands will not blister
from any task you'll demand
I'll cower in your presence
Burn me with your brand.
X

I should have held on to you longer in those fleeting moments.
Not pushing you away because of the fear I felt in my heart.
When I kissed you it should have been slower.
Deeper with each breath so that I could hold on to the electric feeling that surges between us when we have the slightest touch.
I should stop and chat with you longer when you probe into how I am doing when you see me.
You still know when I am putting on a front to the world with fancy hair and made up face.
You see it in my eyes and that is something that can't be hidden from those who have held your heart in their hands gently.
Closing up the wounds with soothing word bandages and healing love stitches.
I shouldn't tell you no when you say you want to see me or just need someone to talk to in the middle of the night.
I don't sleep after I tell you no because my mind wanders to the what ifs.
I should look you in the eye and memorize the planes of that face that lights up the darkness in my soul with each smirk and smile.

Next time we have a moment I will take all the advantages that I can.
If it be conversation, I will hold on to every word you say as if they were the oxygen needed to breathe.  
If it be touch, I will let that touch linger past socially accepted confines.
If it be kiss, I will taste that kiss as if it were the best thing I had ever eaten in my life.
And if it be rekindled love, I will hold out my heart to you willingly, taking and giving much more than I did before.
I will continue to be more accepting to your advances and not confuse you with my nerves.

Unbroken
the surface
in morning light

lone hawk
pauses in flight

alight on a pale blue sky.

r ~ 9/13/14

My bed smells like you,
So I've been sleeping on the couch.

don't feel sorry for me.
I am a competent,
satisfied human being.

be sorry for the others
who
fidget
complain

who
constantly
rearrange their
lives
like
furniture.

juggling mates
and
attitudes

their
confusion is
constant

and it will
touch
whoever they
deal with.

beware of them:
one of their
key words is
"love."

and beware those who
only take
instructions from their
God

for they have
failed completely to live their own
lives.

don't feel sorry for me
because I am alone

for even
at the most terrible
moments
humor
is my
companion.

I am a dog walking
backwards

I am a broken
banjo

I am a telephone wire
strung up in
Toledo, Ohio

I am a man
eating a meal
this night
in the month of
September.

put your sympathy
aside.
they say
water held up
Christ:
to come
through
you better be
nearly as
lucky.

Change is necessary.
Right?

Change is a good thing?
Right?

Change is
Scary and confusing.

Change scares the hell out of me.
Change leaves me in a state of frustration.

Change can heal the soul and tear it apart.
Leaving little pieces scattered about.

But I must think of little caterpillars that turn into beautiful butterflies.

Change is necessary.

I'm sorry my name
     Didn't taste
          As sweet
               As her's