dusting my cabinet with the sleeve of my hoodie
this is endless
my sheets smell like cigarettes
and where is all this glass even coming from?
there's an 18 year old boy who lives upstairs
and i can hear him crying sometimes
in the middle of the night
and i can't help but to imagine
he is lying face down on the floor
because every breath he takes
is crystal clear
what do 18 year olds cry about anyway?
he had this girlfriend for like three weeks
she was always asking me for ****
i haven't gotten high since i was sixteen
the year you died
it kinda lost its kick
and now i just can't get back to it,
i would if i could though
it's not like ive found god
it's just that getting ****** up
isn't fun anymore,
it's just heavy
and exhausting
i broke a nail trying to
untie the rope
so i left him hanging,
he's always hanging
on every word i say
and i can't bear the look on his face
in the morning
he's so sad
and i'm so *******
at myself
for deciding not to care
they told us,
"one day you'll get where you're going,
the sky will open up
and you'll feel like you were chosen"
but my feet are aching
and i'm sorta caving
so i'm just gonna sit it out
from here on out
swallow some pills
and let the night
take me out,
i could have been a constellation,
but i'm a tangled mess of veins
that are too dry for saving,
let me have this,
just let me go
don't call an ambulance
i like the silence
i'll see you on the other side,
i heard it's always quiet