If only you had been
Addicted to me
The same way that
I was addicted to you.

I would stop my day
For you
But you would maybe
For me.

I have questioned
‘Was I not enough?’
Countless times
And I know that I was.

Then at the same time
I know that I was not
I was not a Sativa or an Indica
So what was I to you?

Change can happen slowly,
Or sometimes all at once,
You never see it coming,
Only after it has struck.

Change can be a good thing,
Or sometimes bad,
But it always happens for a reason,
Even if it makes you sad.

It’s so very easy to focus on the bad,
To overthink everything that’s making you sad.
My friends say it will be easier and try give me hope,
Right now their words are the only thing helping me cope.

I am crying
Crying out in pain
This suffering I feel
There is no cure
I am not heard
I am screaming
Begging for help
Yet I am alone
Writhing
My bones are sore
My mind is at its tether
What can I do?

Maybe I am dying
We all are
A little bit everyday
But this pain
I am dying a little more
What will it be?
What will cause my end?
My body or my mind
Decaying
Both are weak
I cannot remember
Ever being strong.

Put her in the flower press,
Leave her there for two weeks,
I wonder what you will find,
When you lift up those two sheets.

Her worries and her fears,
Staining the once pure paper,
Bled out dry for the world to see,
Knowing what was able to break her.

First there is loneliness and sadness,
They stain the pages blue,
You can see her anxieties,
Where she has worried about what to do.

That is not all that develops,
Something may take you by surprise,
A golden ambition hides insider her,
Hidden behind her wistful eyes.

Where once there was fear, there is love,
A passion bursting through,
It grows slowly, as she is pressed more,
And gold replaces that sad hue.

Take her out of the flower press,
Look at her as a whole,
She may have struggles sometimes,
But there is brightness deep within her soul...

I did not know that things would ever be this hard,
That time would turn into my enemy and make me put up a guard.
But now I keep being told that time will be my best friend,
That the pain it has caused me it can also mend.

Replaying events over and over in my head,
I can't break away; I can't even go to bed.
Sleep has become a stranger and I find myself staring into the dark,
But this journey of myself I know that I must embark.

I’m not sure how long it will take me,
And I wonder what I’ll see.
I don’t know if I’ll even get far,
But I know that I must try, to try and heal this scar.

Dear, won’t you hold me,
and never let me go,
Tell me that I’m yours,
Whisper sweetness in my ear.

I’ll wrap my arms around you,
Hold you where you belong,
My lips will brush yours,
Painting a picture of our love.

Lie with me my darling,
Our limbs become tangled -
No, not tangled... entwined!
Tied together like an infinity knot.

I don’t know how we would’ve met,
I just know we would, on that I’d bet,
We wouldn’t have to worry about people finding out,
Though I know you’d still have your doubts.


Don’t get me wrong, I understand,
I just think everything would be grand,
I hope you know I don’t think that you’re bad,
The way you think that of yourself makes me sad.

I think you are compassionate and kind,
Two qualities which are hard to find,
I guess what I’m trying to say,
Through everything I think we’d turn out okay.

And I wish I would have met you first,
Because this feeling I have right now is the worst,
Wondering what could have been,
If I was the first one you’d seen.

I am crying out for help,
I simply cannot take this pain,
I would rather a hundred needles,
Than this feeling in my veins.

I am scared I will wake paralysed,
I’ll feel more than out of sorts,
I do not think I can shake this,
The only thing racing will be my thoughts.

Peacock with your feathers so bright,
So blue and beautiful, so full of might,
You stand up tall, proud and bold,
You have so many adventures yet to be told.

Peahen you’re so shy and demure,
Something about you feels unsure,
You don’t know what you want just yet,
You will find out soon, there’s no need to fret.

“You don’t have to say sorry,”
“But I am…”

I’m sorry that I liked you,
Maybe a little too much,
I know that you warned me,
But I still longed for your touch.

I really didn’t mean it,
When I fell for you so hard,
It just kind of happened,
I let down my guard.

You should know I miss you,
Though we still talk everyday,
But the flirting and how you made me smile,
I never wanted that to go away.

So I’m sorry about everything,
I’m sorry that we met,
Even though you’re my best friend,
I don’t want to be your regret.

It was sunny today and I felt good,
It was weird cause I didn’t think that I should.
But the sun gave me hope - it made me feel warm,
What a lovely release from my inner storm.

I live in the future but also the past, constantly caught between the two.
Thinking about the things I wish I could change,
Whilst worrying about what has yet to come…