She is both,
hellfire and holy water.
And the flavor you taste,
depends on how you,
treat her.

LOOK

I am SORRY that I am the way I am

I'm sorry that I start to panic when someone touches me
especially a guy
even though if its in a friendly way
I just can't help to flinch
I always think about the people that hurt me in the past

I am sorry that I constantly break down
I cant control my mind for consuming my emotions
my mind is always at war with my heart
I cant help to get flash backs of the past of what they did to me

Im sorry for hiding my feelings
I get nervous to tell you because Im scared of upsetting you
I had people that I upset when I always told them how I felt
I'm also not an open book
I even feel vulnerable just someone looking at the content of the book

I am sorry that I always ask for reassurance
Im just trying to get it memorized in my head so I can believe you
I want to make sure your being honest
your answers dont change
and you mean it
People drilled bad things into my head so I cant help it

I am sorry for constantly apologizing
I always think its my fault
I grew up people putting the blame on me
sometimes I can't tell if its my fault or not

LOOk
I
I ..am
sorry that I am me

How many of us have died
Trying to make more out of our lives?
How many of us slice open our skin,
Dying to love, to feel?

We jump from planes to laugh and smile...
What if instead our company stayed
For just a little while?

We are DYING to live,
And I do mean dying.
Our souls, locked away,
Batter our ribs and our hearts trying to escape.

I want to write,
I want to laugh, and sing, and draw,
I want to make lasting friendships
And give life my all.

Like so many others,
I am dying to live,
Dying to survive.