I want to run away.
Not very far,
maybe just down the street.
To the home of books upon dusty shelves and checkout cards,
I could get away from reality and just read.
Read about fairylands and mythical wastelands
where the heroes end up winning and all the monsters die.
There's no fear,
no hatred.
Just happiness
and I'll squint at the paper pages,
trying to read the small print
as the sunlight drips over it like a fresh oil painting on a hot day.
The sky will shine like a kaleidoscope array
of precious pinks and bright blues.
I'll lean against an old tree
and my back with probably ache several  days later,
but the solitude is worth the pain.

I want to run away,
but my wings won't seem to fly.

Everyday as if the last.
I wake up to see, the fears of my past.
The things I protected -in silence- or so it seems;
fell to the bottom without being heard or seen.
Selfishly I cried.
Selfishly I lied.
Selfishly I replied,
"With all that I have done for you,
why wont you comply?"
Why give off such a devilish demeanor?
Why oh why did you make the heathens' snakes slither?
A whistle through the night as the serpents took flight,
as the the eyes of a child was filled with nothing but fright.
An emotionless tear,
then another,
and another.
As the child stood there,
then fangs,
and a bite.
The child laid there,
then red,
and a goodnight.

I yell
And scream
And cry
Because you call me crazy

I hit
And kick
And fight
Because you say I'm violent

I am only
What you see of me
It may not be the real me
But its how I am preceived

And how people choose to see me
Determines how I see myself.

Before you turn,
think twice,
feel thrice,
for there's no come back
from that.

No more handshakes,
no white flags,
no Sunday prayers,
children smiles.

Before you do,
think twice,
feel thrice,
for there's no come back
from that.

No man can turn back
the hands of time.
No god can.

No smile can turn back
the tears once run.
Nothing can cure
once broken heart.
Like chalk it breaks,
for life.

Before you turn,
press your right hand
to chest - left side,
and hear the beat.

The perfect sound.

I wish I knew
How not to be sad.
How not to be angry,
And how not to feel pain.

I wish I knew
How to be happy.
How to enjoy life,
And how to leave the past behind.

I wish I knew
How to trust.
How to love myself,
And how to forget the harm.

I wish I knew
How to open up.
How to fight the dark,
And how to get rid of anger.

I wish I knew that
Not everyone is nice.
Not everyone wants to be friends,
And not everyone is kind.

I wish I knew that
Not all things are free.
Not all love is real,
And not all hope is true.

I wish I knew that
Not everything is joyful.
Not everything is beautiful,
And not everything is light.

I wish I knew that
Memories don't fade.
That words sting,
And scar for life.

I wish I knew
That my skies wouldn't clear.
That my demons would win,
And that I would give in to the darkness.