I know of pain and suffering; Mistakes and consequences
It wasn't always this gloomy.
Once I was cheerful and bright.
It all changed.
My heart became as dark as night
I hid behind my walls; behind my fake smiles
You said it was alright, that I was okay
If you only looked deeper, you'd see my agony
You'd feel my depression.
I grew tired of life with each passing day.
When it began,
I looked on with disdain at her,
I cringed at the mere thought.
But she became more beautiful or so it seemed
Her promise of a better world, a better life;
I eagerly wanted that.


Slowly I fell into her trap:
She beckoned to me, I answered.
I cut off communication,
Life was bearable in my head.
"I didn't need the world" she told me.
"There's no other way out" she said.
She understood me; shared my problems.
She said no one else could help me.
She was right.
She said I was in darkness.
Yes! I needed the light.
She was waiting for me to accept her; give her my all.
I loved her; I needed to show just how much.
"A little show of affection" she said.
"Just a couple pills" she cooed.
I did all she asked; I proved my love.
I left this world to be with her;
I gave in to Suicide...

Sitting at the edge of the water

Staring at the ocean

Wondering if it was as deep as my love for you

My eyes close, I let my thoughts of you roam

You take me into your arms

Your head pressed against my back

No words said, just feelings felt

It was perfect, nothing to could ruin it

I never cared about anything else

I never wanted you to leave

i needed you with me every night

You needed my heart, my love

I would give it to you over and over again

We should've been together forever

We made promises,

We made sacrifices.

Why did Fate have to be so cruel?

Happiness always seemed to elude me

I couldn't save you

Now I needed to be saved too



Your memories haunt me

I want you out of my life

But I take you back every night

I can't sleep without your image in my head

I wish I could see you one more time

Outside of my head

Feel your body one more time

Your lips on mine

I want to get lost in your eyes again

I need to hear you say you love me one more time

Could I ever fall in love again?

You took my heart when you left

I'm empty, just a hollow shell

I had a wall, I put up my defenses

You sneaked past and I fell

You left! No hugs, no goodbyes

I knelt beside your bed,

Holding your cold hands hoping you would feel it

Hoping you would hear my voice,

Find your way back to me

Silence...

I knew your were gone,

I couldn't accept it

How was I to live without you?



Lord take me too

She didn't deserve to be there alone

She needed me

I needed her

The thought of death never felt so appealing

What was on the other side?

I never really cared

Wherever she was, that was home

I would find peace and love again

Sitting at the edge of the ocean

Silently saying goodbye to the world behind

I got up to walk into the water

To let the ocean take me to you

I closed my eyes and smile

Inside I prayed for a sign

That I would be able to go on without you

The water seemed to give way as I proceeded

This was it, this was my last moment

Peace...

Then I felt it, a hand then a voice

All in my head I presumed

Somehow I get pulled out of my reverie

I turned and saw her pulling me



I wasn't going to let Fate ruin this for me

My lover was waiting for me

But I made a mistake

I looked into my strangers eyes

It captured me

Fear, compassion, pity, love?

Was this my sign?

I followed her lead out of the water 

I let her talk me out of it

Maybe I could continue living

Your memory forever etched in my heart

Back at the edge of the water

Staring at the ocean

My saviour's hand in mine

Supporting me, strengthening me

I'm sorry my love.

I loved you, I always will.

You're my past but she's my present

My future.

Fate was kind to me

Gave me a second chance

I would never be free of you

But this is goodbye.

Oh Freedom!!! Like a bird in a cage set free
The feeling of freedom is
Like a survivor from a killing spree
The feeling of freedom’s peace

Nobody a prisoner wants to be
More like the birds in the sky flying free
Relaxed in the souls free will
Everything around, so calm and still

Oh Freedom!!!
Like the dawn of a new day
Where all no longer quiet can sing
Out of the hearts burning desire
Songs of joy from the mind’s own choir

Oh Freedom!!
I taste thee at last
Set free from life’s dark past
That I may once again fly high
Till the night draws nigh

And when, Oh Freedom, I’ve had my fill
And love, joy and peace I feel
The clouds bright and no more thunder
I’ll cry, Oh Freedom!! For thou hast made me stronger.

First strangers, now lovers
Mere words now injected with passion
Friendship transformed into love
Unexpected changes, unexpected feelings
How many words did it take?

Or did we expect it?
Could we somehow feel it?
Did we receive nature's call to not be alone?
Was it fate? Kismet? Happenstance?
Does it matter what it was?
Does it matter how it came to be?

I see you and my heart stops
Like deer facing headlights
Your touch sends shivers down my spine
Your voice soothes my soul

Do I make you feel the same way?
Yes, you say
Does your heart beat louder when I'm near you?
"You could hear it from a million miles", you say

Take my hand, walk with me
Fight with me, stay with me
Smile with me, cry with me
Love me, one day at a time
Love me today;
We're not promised tomorrow
Forever yours if you'd be forever mine

Save some snow for the sunny day
Get the pitchers, collect the rain drops
Trap the heat for when it turns gray
Make the foundations sturdy
Lest the wind blow it away

Two times shall he hit the rock
Three times shall he pray
The sky; the gates of rain to unlock
His crops, a drink for the day

The trials of friendship
The prices we pay
Defend yourself from envy
And keep your pride at bay


Be thankful for family
The good, the bad, the ugly
The ones who leave,
The ones who stay
Tomorrow's not promised, so love today


The days of the week from first to last
Some for work and some for play
Some days to eat and some to fast
To curse, to bless, conjure or pray

Keep a smile for the gloomy days
For it is in itself sublime
If all things go, pray love to stay
For all times -
Tomorrow and today

Home...
My favorite place
Filled with love, compassion and peace
When the troubles of the world are too much to bear
Home is where I drop my load of care
When I'm done and the world has no more for me
I find my way back to my fantasy

Home...
My favorite people
Who stand always and forever with me
When I falter and when I stray
By my side, still they stay
When I'm done and the world has no more for me
I find my way back to my family