Dear Bri,

My therapist asked me if
I thought I should
Write you a letter for closure
I was confused and said no
I was done with us
Over it
That was a few months ago
I can see now
What she might have seen then
I am carrying a lot of anger
A lot of pain and resentment
Because of the way you treated me
And how victimized you painted yourself
As you shamed me publicly
All over social media
For "cheating" on you when
We definitely have different understandings
Of what constitutes cheating
And then you took it a step further
To spread your delusions about me
When we could've had a conversation

You shamed me so hard at the end
Because "you didn't even know me anymore"
When you clearly didn't know me at all
I told you when we first met
I do not want kids and
I never want to get married
And you were surprised
After year and a half
When you bring it up
And I tell you again
I do not want that life
You cried and said we would be nothing then
So I bought you a ring
I figured, whatever
If we were going to be forever
I might as will compromise
Something you didn't understand much at all
Especially when it came to ***

After we broke up
You wrote me a letter
In it you attacked me for
Never having *** when you wanted
Since you'd have it with me
When you didn't want to
(Something I was very unaware of
And extremely not ok with)
Apparently I should've done the same
But I didn't want *** if you didn't
I could've ******* myself if that were the case
I didn't ask you to do that for me
I wish you didn't
Because love isn't about *** frequency
It's more about communication
And honesty
And I'm not perfect at that
But I tried

When I sent you an article
About why I avoid ***
Due to a ****** assault
You got mad at me
"What am I supposed to do,
Just wait until you're ready?"
Yes.
If you respected me
Then you would

And when I talked to you about
My interest in polyamory
You didn't give me a chance
To even discuss it more
You immediately said no
And that was that
You said you wouldn't change your mind
Which I should have known since
When I became friends with
A member of the church do you dragged me to
(Even though I'm an atheist)
You were mad because they were poly
And you didn't want me "getting any ideas"
And when that approach didn't work
You claimed that my being friends with them
Conflicted with your friendship with another member
Because they were connected negatively through an ex
Because we can't have our own friends?

But that's exactly what I needed
Because you shamed me so hard
For the things I care about most
That I lost myself in us
I no longer existed
Because I was "too radical"

So you didn't really love me
Because you didn't know me
You loved who you made me
Or whoever you saw in your mind
And somehow you were surprised
When I decided to leave
Because of course you did nothing wrong
But I was suffocating
So I left to explore myself
And my potential polyamorous identity

But then you were willing to try it
You didn't want to lose me
So you said you'd try an open relationship
But
Only under strict guidelines
And if I didn't agree to them
You wouldn't try
You called it "compromise"
But there's a huge difference
Between boundaries
And rules
That's not how polyamory thrives
So I left.

And a few months later
We talked about it again
You gave me more rules
"No other romantic partners "
Which would've required me
To leave who I was presently seeing
Just to have *** with randoms
And commit emotionally
Only to you
But I also had to agree
To eventually move up north with you
Regardless of my own life aspirations
Because I never really mattered to you
Only the fake picture you had of me

And all of those rules
Occurred while you simultaneously
Shamed polyamory
And me for wanting it
Because "I just didn't want to commit"
It is "an abomination"
"Disgusting"
Just because you didn't understand it
Because you were afraid of it

You didn't understand me
But you "loved" me
And you were the victim
Right?
I'm not saying I'm not at fault
But you are too

Tonight the wind
the pouring rain through trees
hiss and whistle of kettle
water poured for tea
the lashing winter willows
this coal, dark storm that blinds
and hides away your face
and any trace of moon.

silence connects, makes room
opens the door to let you in
welcomes always,
hopes you stay
enveloped serene
having made yourself at home.

High Speed Two
Is approved
Let’s celebrate
CELEBRATE

Passengers
Will reach London
From Birmingham
Thirty one minutes faster
Than they can now
Oh, and its just as fast
On the way back
How about that!

The prices might go up
(The prices will go up)
But think how quickly
We will all travel!

We will hurtle
In supreme comfort
Up and down
Our once green country

This is progress, progress, progress!
Thirty thousand jobs created
(From the taxpayers purse)

Well what’s £106 billion
For a lovely project like this
It’s peanuts
Pea NUTS!!

Let’s be bold
Let’s be brave
Let’s bluster

Let’s get Brexit
Or was it HS2...
DONE

Get it done
Get it done
Get it done!!!!

Don’t worry about
The Sites of Special Scientific Interest
That’s for eggheads and boffins
Forget about
The one hundred and eleven local wildlife sites
What’s so good about them?
As for the nineteen ancient woodlands
We can just plant a few more trees
That solves that one

Who are these negative naysayers
These crusty tree huggers
Stepping in our way??

What we need is speed

Speed for our economy
Greed for our economy
Speed and greed
To feed
The ego
And Make Great Britain Great Again
Let’s give it a hashtag
And a catchy phrase
MGBGA

We need to propel ourselves
Faster than ever towards…

Environmental collapse
and
Climate catastrophe

Now...

Are you with me
Or against me?

Like a tidal wave coming over the shore
Swallowing the moon
And all I’m sure
Come too soon
Once bright citrus groves
Dulled now by hue of anger
Raging swirling water
The life promising bringer of destruction
The parking lot is flooded over
The elevator won’t leave the bottom floor
Stands the innocent accused
The madness of the mobs

And point your finger
If you’re needing someone to blame
In cycles of the strange
The seasons still will change
And comes the winds
And brings the rain
Will you be left out from the storm then
Riding high and mighty on arrogance?

Voices will shout
As this madness grows louder
Voices will shout you down
And voices gone silent
Do we look at the sorrow we now breed
The sewing of the seed of undoing
And all I’m sure
Come too soon
Dissidents snd dissonance
The division, the distrust
And all chaotic matter
Once was order

And point your finger

Dad was fat all his life
Obese
He couldn’t do a lot of things.
Walk without special help
Bathe
Climb stairs
Sit in a normal chair
Drive a normal car
Sleep in a normal bed
And say “I love you, son.”

To draw those words out
of his dad he became a cartoonist,
but that also failed.

And now that his father
was dead,
collapsed face down
on the kitchen floor,
blood seeping out of a head wound,
he struggled to turn him over
on his back
and dipped his finger in the blood
and drew a speech bubble
next to his father’s head
and wrote in it the famous words.

Finally.
“I love you too, dad.”

candles light up her room
it smells like herbs
and flowers

fall is her favorite season
she enjoys the rain
while dancing trough the woods
barefooted

she's one with nature and the sun
but in love with the moon