I want to write for me.
Not for anyone else.
Just for me.

The words are true.
They come from the heart.
They are true.

My thoughts are personal.
Though I share them.
They are personal.

My poems are failing.
When I reread them.
They are failing.

I've been writing for others.
As much as I fight it.
It's been for others.

I am a writer.
This is part of my life.
Lins, the writer.

I will write for myself.
No matter what.
Just for myself.

Every single smile we share. You fool me into thinking you care.
I think I know you. You know me too.
So why do I keep doubting us? Why does my heart keep stumbling over trust?
Your eyes shine. As they search through mine.
Your words come from deep inside. You can't keep them in even when you have tried.
Every touch makes me question my heart. Do you know how you split me apart?
I have tried for months to fake it. I'm not sure how much longer I can take this.
I want our friendship to hang on. I want for us to be strong.
I'm not sure what to do. Because I can't stop being near you.
You are uncomfortably safe. And I'm not scared to be in your space.
You are dangerously secure. Your warmth draws me in like a lure.
We share so many secrets. I never want there to be any regrets.
You say you don't make promises. But I'm begging you to promise this.
I'm not sure what we might be.
Just promise you won't stop being friends with me?

A nine year old running as fast as she could. Running for what mattered the most. Chasing the tune that meant a sweet frozen treat.

your eyes show the pain
I can feel your hurt
share your sorrows
I'll share mine too
the hurt in your heart is big
every time you speak of it
your body gets smaller
your head hangs low and you need a hug
let me be there and help you heal

ok.
I will be
ok.
we can be
ok.
please don’t speak,
ok?
don’t tempt me,
ok?

without you,
I will be
ok.

I made a mistake
I leaned in too close
His scent assaulted me
When it hit my nose

I realize with regret
That he is still a comfort
I can make that change
But it will take much effort

Every whiff I inhale
Makes my breath catch
Sadness over takes me
The feelings begin to hatch

My heart is racing
And my eyes lose focus
I think I’m having anxiety
Over the thing that used to be us

My heart isn’t broken
Like the heart of a lover
It’s broken because of
A friendship we lost with each other

pull at every thread
unravel me at once

you do this unwanted

leave me be
weave me together again

dark surroundings engulf me
dry sand all around
slightly chilly air
cool breeze blowing

creepy crawlers sneak about
scratchy blankets rub my legs
damp socks coat my feet
loose t-shirt riding up near my waist

millions of stars above me
crescent moon calls out to me
birds mock each other
salty smell overwhelms my senses

waves crashing on the shore
mist sprinkling my face
soft sand falls through my fingers
wind wisps my hair into my eyes

sun rising in the distance
colors reflect on the moving sea
dew blankets everything it touches
I wait for the dark surroundings to engulf me again