It's 4AM, I'm crying, and all I can think about is you.

I still ******* love you, but there's nothing I can do.

during these nights, I realize how terribly lonely I truly am.

I'm just so easily replaceable, no one gives a ****.

It hurts so much to feel so worthless.

and I get so used to the point where I'm worn out and useless.

I guess that's the point in which everyone begins to leave.

They're doing this for the better, but it's not what I perceive.

And in these nights I just want to ******* cry.

Because I know no one would shed a tear if tonight I die.

I'm only needed for the benefits of these poor souls.

But where am I in this place besides a 6 foot hole?

I hate how you would give me painted masks for me to wear as a gift of your love.

How you said that if I wore them I would show you love that only comes from above.

How you said it was for the better but at the end it wasn't enough for you to stay.

And slowly and surely you began to fade away.

You said I had to change, and baby, if it was for you, I would.

Always for you my love, I thought to myself, I should.

And I began to mold myself into fitting your criteria.

But I guess that led to our demise and my hysteria.

And I began to think when I'm left all alone.

If it was me or you that burned down our sacred home.

And I try to take off the masks that has melted onto my face.

And then I realized your masks were never replaced.

And, god, I felt so ******* dumb for letting you do this to me.

But it's okay, because i still love you, can't you see?

And slowly I'm chipping away your painted masks.

But it's so hard to move when you've been drowning in the bottom of a flask.

But I'm sure you don't understand, besides, your mask was easily ridden.

And we become a love that is painfully forbidden.

It was always for you, my love, but never for me, and so...

I hope you know that I still love you, and you easily let that go.

Do you know that feeling?
When you feel your skin peeling?

Where your brain becomes uncovered
Revealing all the pain you tried to recover

And, oh god, you see everything becoming darker
And you plead for escape, but it's getting so much harder

To breathe.
And you begin to heave.

Oh god, they're closing in
And you think to yourself you cant relive this again

But they show no mercy
And they shower your eyes in shadows until everything becomes blurry

It's so dark and scary to be left like this alone
But everyone else always tells you to go into your happy home

But what they don't know is that house burned down
And they can't understand why you never make a sound

You know you're in pain and suicidally crazed
So why do you let everything become a haze?

I don't know honestly, I just bottle it in
And all I ever have is a paper and black pen.

I begin to remember the words you said.
How you said you stopped loving me and you wish you were dead.

I had to abide by the rules you placed,
But all I wish is for my existence to be erased.

my heart drowns in the sorrow you created.
with pieces of my mind you use for your entertainment.