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We did it
It's all on us
We didn't have chance
nobody believed
I mean why not
We had proven what we could do
We had shown the power of our actions
the system was our enemy
we didn't treat it as such
so when we fought back
we thought the system would back us
it didn't
my shoulders were so tired
of carrying this meaning without meaning
I’ve done my negotiations with reality –
to handle the truth that I cannot exist in your eyes
but in your absence I invented the world

you’re the creator of this empty space, so central
of restless nights, of desperate sighs
making a secret pact with the Danaids, my days
my love for you only sealed the invisible dimension
against all odds
I’ve worked like a smith at this smitten dream of love
but you’ve erected walls inside, walls of silence outside
Yours was the impossible touch
I would know your belts better than your hand
no room for dreams at your table
only your fist in the arena of power
between the kitchen and the living room

you’ve stayed so loyal to her rejecting womb
that all women should have been born as men, soldiers
but there she was, this little girl, chasing you in my dreams
how clever should I have been to get your attention?
how sensitive could I have been to translate your silence?
you’ve turned me into a sleepless tigress weighing the danger
of every move in the corner of your eye

I’ve rarely put on lipstick
my eyes were all too busy protecting
your crushing absence,
too much life compensating inside
all those tears still dissolve my face
with every imaginary man
again and again
I’ve studied  pigeons’ flight
instead of the art of flirting in/with the night
I’ve searched for wounds to heal instead
of blissful laughter, not to disturb
the stillness of the forbidden one

I’ve carried your pride for so long
incongruent with my own sense of value
a nothing left outside, a sign without meaning
I was
counting the pathologies of day

but I’ve signed the declaration of independence
don’t want to take the art of losing to perfection
You were so right to hide, to yell and to pretend
dreams are the hardest thing to handle
I’ve stretched my soul on height and depth
that it’s become a fluid full,
emptied of myself

I will always love you
with a wiped smile
Father,
the future remains unwritten
inconnu
Why can't I write?
Why can I no longer bleed words?
Has life taken that much of a toll
That I can no longer write about my world?

Isn't pain or happiness supposed to inspire a beautiful or heart wrenching poem?
I am currently experiencing both feelings in my life, but the words still do not show.

I spend hours on a keyboard, and weeks on my phone; trying to type a simple tiny poem.

But the blank page stares at me, mocking my lack of inspiration. I feel a lack of dedication and not an ounce of motivation.

I've lost it...

I can no longer express my feelings through ink or through the keys on a computer. I thought this was my skill, but I guess writing is no longer in my future.
Let me know what you think. I haven't wrote in a while. Comment and favorite (:

Follow me on Hello Poetry (I'll follow back)
1AM
"Hello?"

2AM
"I miss you"
"Why did you let go"
"Was I not enough?"
"Do you have someone else to let you see all skin and bones?
    Someone who could see through all those muscles and enlighten your soul?
    Someone who would hold you until the morning light?
    Someone who could love you even with all your flaws?
    Someone who could love you more because of them and think that you're beautiful?

"I loved you."
"I still do."

"You know what? *******, ******* because you made me fall. Made me think that you would catch me but in the end I realized that you never to do so. *******, for wasting my time, making me think that you were worth my while. Lastly, *******, I am still inlove with you

7AM
What have I done.

1AM
*"Hello?"
Drunk messages and thoughts
Let me:
Drink this beer to forget the taste of your sweet lips, drowning it with a bitter edge.

Smoke this cigarette to replace the air gone at times you took my breath away
while the nicotine becomes my lungs' drug to remove your scent from my system

*all these vices to forget and end the life planned with you
I know you'll never
notice my stares
guess my thoughts
How come my eyes are sore
when they became like that

But I admit these scars, are getting deeper.
Sakit na ng puso ko. Konti nalang. Whooo!
"Are you lost?" Said no one to the ******* the bus.
"Are you cold?" Said no one to the figure huddled in the doorway.
"Are you hungry?" Said no one to the hollow eyed man.
"Are you scared?" Said no one to the child with the bruised face.
"Are you safe?" Said no one to the family in a squalid room.

"Please send a donation to the human race. We've lost our humanity"
© JLB
27/09/2014
13:39 BST
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