there is a part of her missing
and it's not hidden between the lines of her journal
or the baby hairs constantly tucked behind cold ears
a part hidden by too much sunlight
it's not secrets under fingernails
or worrisome thoughts engraved deeply into smile lines
a part of her is missing
but it cannot be found in books yet to be written
in artful lines and timid smiles
in the iris of her eyes
it's not mapped out by the freckles on her shoulders
or in the laughter spilling from her insides
it's not written in her tears
or in the dreams that haunt her
a part of her is missing
it cannot be found or unlocked by you
you cannot bring it out into the daylight
or hold it up to the moonlight
for she has to be the one to stumble upon
the part of her that she is missing
over the past year and a half i have struggled with finding the person that i am and the person whom i want to be. within my 19 years on earth i have been told by countless numbers of people about the kind of person that i am, what things i should believe in, the way i should act around people, that you have to like *** and boys, that partying is a must at my age. and for a hot second i believed it, i believed that to be normal i had to follow all of the norms of being a 19 year old girl, wild and loud and fun. i have since come to realize that, that person is not me or the person i hope to be. i have come to realize that i don't really know who i am, hence that part of me is missing. no one gets to decide this part for me, to tell me who i am or who i should be. i get to decide that, i get to stumble upon the part of me that is missing, the part i have yet to find.