When you tried to give me a compliment I always turn the cheek
Batting it away like it doesn't belong to me

That my hair is too frizzy for you to like it
My eyes too blue for your brown

My legs are elegant but they are marked with my disappointment
The purple and the blue will never go away
Yes, the bruises will slowly heal but by the time one problem is resolved another sapling and will slowly take root and show it's colors

You say my heart is made to heal
But I can't find it
It's buried so deep I can't hear it keeping time to my life song
It's crushed under all my self downs and worries
In that hollow it grows
Like a new bud
And one day it will turn into a flower

My response to your comment is lost on my tongue
It is somewhere tucked inside my conscience
Playing hide and seek with the directions on how to talk to boys and how to give an oral report without turning red
And I'm the seeker

You tell me I'm beautiful
But I can't hear you
The voices taunting me inside my head are too loud for your soft voice
Arguing about which way right
When I find my answer it seems as if the time has already left

You are already heading off in the other direction
Leaving me stumbling over my daydreams and expectations
Trying to get a grasp on what's ethical

I always forget to say thank you
It's sort of a bad habit
I'm always too worried about what will happen if I say something wrong
If I'll turn you away

I want you to know that I want you to stay
Stay close and hug me when I need it
So I can help you through your hardships
And carry each other's hopes and dreams upon our shoulders

You will be the soldier of my heart
Guarding the gates for all of the knights in shining armor that aren't noble enough to be my Prince Charming

In the moments that i feel empty
bottomless
broken

Your love gives me new skin
life
breath
devotion

Sometimes distance draws us together
apart
stronger
weak

But being with you in somber moments
strengthens
reminds
pursues

Helping us to strive towards the future
forever
commited
love
devotion

Long distance love, how are you?
Are you thinking of me too?
I thought about you again today,
Just hoping that you are okay,
Can’t you please pick up the phone?
As I sit here all alone.

Long distance love, do you recall?
The times it seemed we had it all,
The times we thought would never end,
But now I need more than a friend,
Everything could be so right,
If you would just come home tonight.

Long distance love, can’t you see?
How much you really mean to me,
Sometimes it seems to be my fate,
To have to sit at home and wait,
But if this is what I have to do,
I will always be here for you.

04-01-10.

Eyelids drooping
My body aches for respite, for rest
Yet I still try my best
To fight this weak human need
Just so that I can see
Through the darkness
With weary eyes
Your name
Flash in a blur
On my phone screen
Just so that I can read
Your words
Hear your voice
Your soft, low tones
Echo in my head
Just so that I can pretend
You are here with me.

I miss you so much
It is an ache that pains me more
Than my lack of sleep
Between those few hours of solace
We have together
Th ache grows
Only temporarily subsided
By the thought of you
Lying awake, thinking of me too.

So I'll keep denying myself sleep
Just to feel the familiar
Rush of happiness
Swelling up inside
When I see your name
Lighting up the long, cold nights.