Some days I'm okay
Others I have nothing to say
Some I don't even whine
Others I just lie and say I'm fine.
Broken thoughts of a damaged mind
A crumpled heart caused by loves that left me behind
The soul that seems to have left.

Not sure of what to say or think
Numbing the pain with another drink
An ashtray full of suicidal thoughts I'm trying to sink.
They come to the surface and are pushing me to the brink.

Some days,
I just want to live my life, a couple kids and a wife
Others I dream of the afterlife ..

Those demons never leave
Those thoughts never cease
The angels try but they cannot win
I can't be forgiven for my sin
The gods they laugh at my suffering
What circle of hell am I in?
Life with all it's torturous might
Is breaking me down
I'm giving in to these
Demons
Tonight....

Rain thunders against the window
Wind rattles these empty halls
Sadness creeps into me
Melancholic thoughts
Ghosts surround me
They watch me sleep
I can hear them creeping
They can feel my sadness
They see even though I'm living
I'm by no means alive
I can hear them cry
You're one us
Even though you're alive

You reap what you sow
Soon you will know
The angel of death
Is not an angel at all
It's someone cheated for the last time
A pound of flesh I say
Mark my words
You will learn the error of your ways
You've lied to me for the final time
The reaper is coming and his name is mine

Muddled thoughts and cigarette smoke
It wasn't like this a week  ago
It was love in its purest form
Hundreds of kisses and hugs a day
Never ending I love you's
It seems that's all gone away
Heartache and tears is all that's left of the memories we once held in our chest
Where love once brightened our hearts
That light has gone.

Cigarettes and withdrawals
Given up the alcohol
No one to turn to
No one to love
The bottle was all that held us up
To only let us down
As we try to drown out the noise
Momentary relief would be nice
It could  guarantee the end of

Brought into the world
Innocent and pure
The mistake of a girl
Not a woman
The bitter resentment
The hurtful words and actions
Made me who I am
Broken and unloved
Never as good as the planned ones
Hoping this is all a nightmare
The pain is too much to bare
No matter how much good he's done
In your eyes he'll never be one of the other ones
No love anymore
Viceseral hatered
I'm on the floor
Someone help before I eternally go........

Melancholic thoughts of
An alcoholic lost
Contemplating if it's worth the cost.
I don't deserve another breath?
I'm feeling so depressed.
Pour another so for a moment
Just one moment those
Feelings are suppressed.

A glance, a smile most beautiful human I've seen in a while
Eyes of green and lips of pink
Not for moment then did I think
You would be mine
Our hearts and souls entwined
Love like fire
A future with no other my love
You will always be above anyone and anything
You’re the one who makes my heart
Sing

Like the gulls caught in the wind
Stationary as life goes by us
The lost and unknown
The hearts that grew to feel alone
Loneliness and sadness is all we know
Not quite ready to give up
Not ready to let go