I feel like I'm making a sandcastle out of quicksand.

I wish I could have a conversation with my heart.
How many heartbreaks until you learn?
How can you be so naïve?
So trusting?
Wake up my heart!
People are not who they claim to be.

I will forever be a sucker,
for your sad eyes,
and calloused hands,
your poisonous kiss,
and mind that I can never understand.

let's be toxic one last time.

The stitches you sewed on my skin untangled themselves,
and every feeling that I felt for you,
came rushing back,
wondering why you left me,
why you never came back,
but don't you worry about me,
I'm learning how to stitch up my own wounds all by myself.

It takes one drink,
to become an alcoholic,
It takes one hit,
to become an addict,
And one look at your eyes,
to fall in love.

i ask myself sometimes,
how did it get this far,
and why did i let it get this this far,

i look in the mirror,
and i dont see myself
i see this stranger
controling my life
make all the decisions for me

she's looking at me
with sadness in her eyes
and i see what she sees
bcz we have the same eyes
but i can not understand her
i dont know who she is

it's so weird how you can live each day
never knowing what's waiting for you
each second,
never knowing what it's holding for you

it's weird how sometimes you cant have control
over your own body
your own soul

how did it get this far?
why did i let it get this far?

Humans are a world class act,
And the theater is full,
We put up the performance of a lifetime,
Switch identities like accessories,
A different outfit every night,
A different audience,
But when the curtains are closed,
And the seats are empty,
To whom do we perform?

I said as I pulled the petals,
one by one by one,
letting the flower decide,
Though the thought of you not loving me,
breaks me heart,
but i'd rather hear it from a flower,
than hear the words come out,
from the lips that once kissed me,
and made my heart come alive.

Let me hold you,
Until your darkest thoughts,
Dance in colors,

Let me kiss you,
Until the clocks,
Run out of time.

I wipe away the teardrops,
Descending from my tired eyes,
Onto this page,
Drowning my words.

As I’m rewriting this poem,
For what feels like the hundredth time,
Desperately hoping,
It can rewrite my mistakes.

I'm drowning,
and you're screaming,
learn how to swim,
your hands must be tied,
I understand,
you don't want to get soaked in,
only I can save myself,
I wish I could help,
If only I had the will.

“Our first kiss stole the breath from my lips”
She said,
But a first kiss should make you feel alive,
not **** you.

love me with passion
in your eyes,
love me in the middle of a fight,
love me when i'm right,
when i'm wrong.

love me with obsession
in your kiss,
love me around your friends,
love me while i'm still young,
while you still can.

love me with forgiveness
in your heart,
love me with your sweater on,
love me in the morning,
in the night.

love me with truthfulness
in your words,
love me like i'm your own,
love me like in the movies,
like in the books.

love me in all kinds of ways,
but most importantly,
love me when i can't love myself.

It was 4 am,
The world was asleep,
The stars were awake,
And just like every other night,
I thought of you,
Are you on the other side thinking of me too?

I crossed that fence
And ignored the warning sign
Walked that road
And ignored all the stop signs
I wanted to be rebellious
But i ended up broken hearted

I got high on expectations,
And i reached my peak,
Disappointment called me,
But i was too numb to speak,
So i had to sober up,
To get back on my feet,
The fall was chronic,
And the ride was bittersweet,
I came crashing down,
Now i can’t be healed,
Who to blame, the addict or the addiction?
I need to get clean!

I’m being played like a song on repeat.
Does that mean he likes me?

My eyes tell a story in a language he can’t read,
So he put them back on the shelf and picked simpler ones.
But i was willing to translate.

I want that old school love,
Those first date roses,
That one milkshake and two straws,
Those 3am conversations,
But when my phone rings at nightfall,
It’s nothing but a bootycall,
And instead of a milkshake date,
I get “let’s have a *******, a guy and two babes”.
When do I get my roses?

I talk to the moon every night,
Imagining it was you,
And in my mind,
I could make you say anything,
But all i could hear was your silence,
So now I’m in love with the moon.

Maybe it was a coincidence,
Or was it destiny,
But it was June,
And the world felt empty,
It started with a kiss,
Then a sip of wine,
And our souls went skinny dipping in a summer’s night,
One confession after another,
Said “call me friend, but keep me closer”
Suddenly it was September,
What felt like a moment became a memory,
All’s left was accessory,
A sweet sweet burn of sun,
And old summer wind,
A summer fling.

I started smoking,
Just to feel the taste of your lips again.

You burned me and i have opened my windows for the smoke to disappear.

I was a wildflower, and all he wanted to do was trap me in a vase.

He made me forget how Heartbreaks felt like, until he reminded me himself.

Here i am..
Here,
And you’re there.

All the “Here i am” poems in the world, and i still can’t describe how i feel.

Because you’re not Here with me.