when my time comes
it comes
and I will gladly leave
to those who go on living
the task of sorting out
the mess I have accumulated
over years

let them discover
not only the stamp collection
the bank accounts
but also unknown niches
of their father’s/friend’s/husband’s life
the words unspoken
scribbled on some paper
thoughts never shared
for lack of time or opportunity
the letters to a friend of yore
emails to many people
hints of potential
love affairs that maybe never happened
ideas to change the world
into a better place

here I am
  now with a 7 before my years
envisioning life after death

a sign of vanity
perhaps
or an expression of despair

I am not sure

it may just be
the fleeting thoughts
on a clear winter evening
when cold creeps slowly
but insistently
into your bones

reminding you

   of all that cold space
   in our universe
   how it grows larger by the second

making you wonder
if it has a plan
and if that plan
includes you
speculating
about your destiny

        * *

The easiest thing
Is to live a lie
Slowly tempting your body and soul to an event horizon which has no escape here
Its the easiest thing
Done by a broken heart
When it is lied to
Always remembering each goodbye and moments of affection piercing through
A list of melancholic ways to die
Staggering your brain
Inviting you to dance and sing
For when you lose home
And when you lose hope
Its easier to live a lie

Once more I close my eyes.
A violin plays like a blazing fire.
I feel calm yet tears cover my eyes.

The fire burns through my lungs.
I hear the silence of many thoughts.
The concerto ends, I applaud.
Once more I open my eyes.