Bright like the sun
Dark like the night
Wrong like a flaw
Right like the angle
Beautiful like an angel
Without wings or a halo

There's nothing in me,
but emotion and thought
In a field of sunflowers
I am a lily, that's lost.

Screaming, "save me!"
Trust me I know the cost
"Pick me!"

Let me writher and rot
Please do not leave me in gloom
I will not bloom next summer,
And I blame you.

I need to die to be alright
Help me rise again,
Hold me in your hands

You say, "I will be your friend"
Then you leave me in the dark
Bring sunflowers to the eulogy
You told me I was not them, but a lily

I do not have eyes, yet I know I am art
I want to glitter with the stars
I know you are the one who tore me apart

Stuck my fragments inside of a jar
Set me on fire
My inclination is gone

See me,
in the sky, and not in the mirror

See me,
in the pasture, and not in your tears

See me,
on the ground, and not as your fears

Do not dream of me, but remember me for years

Her radiance was limitless
Undefined
Then she met a luminous thing
She met something just as bright
But even brightness can be put in a dark place
She made shadows on the walls
And when it was dark she would bring peace to them all
There was a flame inside her glowing
Optimistic and happy
But she didn't know a thing
Learning the hard way
The sun burned off her face
And all that was built
Was kilt in a yoctosecond of time

What is wrong with me
I'm brutally truthful
But I still make room for lies
Not to cover up the pain I despise
But to blend in
Because when I'm out of stories to tell
I'll stop being intriguing
And the only thing left will be the end

Pieces of you writher away,
Ache and Anguish is all you can feel,
Interested in how to cure what you felt
No one could heal

Your first love will never be your only love
It echoes in my head
The truth is I can't heal this scar
Especially when he still has my heart

How do I get it back?
I really don't know
I've never been good at letting things go

She was a charlatan
An imposter
Her acting was exposed
Splattered on a roster

Clemency
They would pass no mercy
Life, bitter like a pickle
Sweet like a hershey

Culpable
Who is to blame
Such a thin line between crazy and sane

The culprit was caught in a swamp of guilt
The one thing the murderer could not ****

Exonerate my name
It's such a shame
They love to point fingers
Yet everyone did the same

You won't give me what I need
I'll extort
Donald trump deports
When will we even the score

The felony had been erased
Or so she thought
So long ago she had been caught
Opened up to one whom she thought she could talk
It was all a tale
Snakes once walked

She is incorrigible
Stuck in a lie
Denial was the gleam in her eye
To be defiled would be to lose her shine

She stole in pilfers
A ruse from her dealer
Anger flashed inside
She would make sure his death was worth every dime she never had,
At the ****** mess she made, she chimed
Then dined, drinking red wine

Reprobate
Reprimand
They just demanded obedience
But she doesn't answer to man

You always leave when I need you the most
I fear that I'm just looking in the mirror
I wish I could say I loved myself
But how can I love someone I barely know
I'm here but I'm not
I hear but I'm not listening
I repeat but I'm not getting it
I explained the truth but tried my best to avoid reality
The sugarcoat on life is dreams
So when I stopped having them I felt dead to the world
A girl who closes her eyes and sees nothing but the darkness of another night
You always leave when I need you the most
I fear that I'm just looking into a mirror
Everything is so unclear
The person I once knew is nothing more than a blur
She disappeared
I'm a mere ghost
The one time I don't remember and it hurts

You come with the roast
Your big ego
I bring my pain
All my imperfections
Laid out on the table
There is no where else to hide
Forced into submission
Open your eyes
She says the roaches have finally come out
I say what do you mean
She points to the guys out on the street
Guy on the corner
Looking like trash
That's too bad I think in my head
She says that he is a roach
I said no, he is a human like you and me
Just because he isn't your definition of civilized,
doesn't mean a thing
You may have approached him at a time
And yes I don't know him
But I'm not blind
A broken soul knows those in the same boat
The window in their eyes
The spark that doesn't shine
She calls him a roach
I say don't
You may not know what it's like to live out of bags and not know when your next meal will be
Living off the streets
Bullets and sirens all over petty beef
Arrested by the police
For stealing the necessities of the day
Manipulated by the world to think all you need to be happy is money, drugs and hoes
You say you don't give because he'll just use it to smoke
But how can you look down upon them all when you really don't know
I was once like a roach
So please don't call them by that name
It's a shame
So easy to point fingers and pin blame
It's hard being a roach
You're just trying to crawl and they want you crushed
So you come out when it's dark
Hiding from all the scars and marks
Accepting rejection on a daily
Begging for money and clothes
Cused out for trying
Denying that you were ever that low
How do you know
You come with your roast
Your big ego
I bring my pain
All my imperfections
Laid out on the table
I remember when I was a roach
You approach me and have a conversation
He gets cut off though

I had a vision...
A dream our fingertips touched.

I had a twisted fantasy...
A nightmare where the spark was too much.

Fried from shock all she could muster was,
“You really, really love him, BUT”

There was where the story ends
From whence she came,
There she went

Gravity gently danced with you
Away from me
Petals vanished in the wind
All to honor your presence and utter negligence

I had a reverie
A dream our fingertips touched.

Lost in a cusp
Earth and air
It is merely dust.

For me it was once enough
Then I awoke from my slumber

Daily routine,
I count the calendar days
My sweaters cold static appalls me

I am laughing at how daunting,
Real and imaginary appear to be
Close, yet far

You are applauding
In the cryptic distance

Searching the audience
I vaguely listen to the lulls of your absence

I finally found something,
Greater than my own pain.

I search for the things that don't exist
I went from an optimist dreamer to a skeptic pessimist
I went from being a caring activist to narcissistic and selfish
I went from being mute to everyone wishing I had a muzzle
I went from knowing what I wanted to being indecisive and puzzled
I went from going along with what they said
To questioning everything that we did
I went from sweet to cold
From honey to bitter like mold
My heart had been sold
Where was my soul going to go
I was stumbling in the dark
While others decided my fate
I went from restless to sleeping the day away
What had happened to me I don't know
At first it didn't show
No one knew
Barely anyone knows
I pretend to have a handle
A grip on my life
All this time I've been slipping
Trying to hold onto the edge of the cliff
It's just a matter of time before someone does me the way scar did to Mufasa
Put the clock back up
I can't change the past
Broken bones get put in a cast
Trying to find people to fill my gap
But the void won't leave
I search for the things that don't exist
I lost my hope
But somehow hope finds me
Pleading for me to reverse the damage
My casualties inflicted
Oppressing affliction
My heart keeps asking when I'll stop playing the victim

I carry my heart
Even when split

As my love monopoly is shattered
I cater to the worries of later

Tending to the blood shed
Wandering a realm of nothingness

Seeking the wrenching guilt will not descend
Buoyantly moving in
Seeking to feel the sinkhole within

Before, she loses all hope
Before she goes over the cliff with no end
Infinitely, dark, cold, and ridgid

I travel the sea
Awakening the clouds above

Mesmerized by unfulfillment
Enthralled in a daze,
She steps forward

The lily turns gold
In the valley she has found her home

Her eyes close.

Two white dots
What gives?
Why are you writing this?
That is you and this is me
What do you mean?
We're exactly the same
2 of a kind
1 is such a lonely number
And you're lonely all the time
The thing about dots is that they can be erased
You won't stay
Maybe I will maybe I won't
If I don't will you give in ?
Probably not because I'd never give in
I'll probably never love again
Why is this ?
My heart is not mines to give  
Whose possession is it left with ?
His
He abandoned it!
Some place it's hiding where I can't reach
But love is the thing you seek?
No, I just don't want to be lonely
You don't have to be
Two white dots
What gives?
Why are you writing this?
This is you and me
What do you mean?
We're exactly the same
Nothing?
But an empty blank space
Ran off and concealed
You could build
But instead you ****
You **** with your looks and your mean words
You're not the only person who hurts
You're not the only one without closure
But if you look deep within
You don't need to find it through him
Your heart is still inside you
It's sitting, waiting and ready to be unbruised
You've just been stuck in this ruse
That reconciling with him is what you need to do

"... I am sunkissed,
Dropped from the sky above like a raindrop

I shine like a star
Made out of what was once nothing

I am the reason light exist.
I am the lonely uncertainty
That sits within darkness.

I cry out to my opposite,
Longing to attract it."

Hole in the curtain
My father says keep the windows closed
The neighbors have cameras
What are they trying to expose
My father lies to find the truth
Eventually he stopped asking what was wrong
My mask was not coming off
He asks for lyrics
And I gave him a wordless song

I was broke
I was down
There seemed to be no one around

I tell stories of my past
Foolish things I did
It's cool because I can look back and laugh

Some people I know get mad
I'm just glad
No longer naive

Lessons learned
I'm sure there are more ahead of me

I was broke
I was down
There seemed to be no one around

I ****** the things I need off the shelves
Put them in my baggy shirt and leave
Hands in the pockets of my jeans

Walking down the street
Cop sirens are all I'm hearing
Always looking back to make sure they aren't after me

I don't want to be charged for petty thief
Look people straight in the eye and lie to them

After a while of this
I couldn't feel guilt
I'm remorseless

Drowning and withering away
You tell yourself they don't care
And you have no reason to stay
But then you remember the days
A smile crossed your face
And you know the sweet taste of freedom is not far
So just look up at the stars
Keep that upper lip stiff
Happiness will find you
And sunlight will drag you out of the shadows again

This is a story begun
Never ended

Everytime I try
Just shush, just listen
It's all fuzzy, glitching

I can not seem to find my motivation in anything
Unless prompted by a grade

I can pass your course, yet I'll fail my life
I'd dream myself to be something other than a student
If your class didnt take all my time

If I did not spend my nights trying to find a reason why ...
Knowledge makes me want to die
Consume my mind

A few more credits to accredit my worth

Unassisted, a lack of support tore my nature to explore
and gave me the power to put on a wry smile and lie

Mutter, "I'm fine"

I still wish not to see you in any way, shape or form
But my heart no longer feels the need to conform
To what I think you want anymore
And the chemicals are sent to my brain saying
"baby girl it's ok"
I've fallen for someone else
And greed is consuming me
I want every single piece
I want everything
But I know what I can't have
There are boundaries
And that is the best thing
We will never be
No need to destroy previous things
Cause love can build you up
And love can tear you down
The best thing is
I'm the only one who can hurt me now

You're the reason I go to sleep happy
You still want to die
If a wish could come true
I'd waste it on you changing your mind

Blood sucker
Take my life
If I die
Will you be my ride
The ticket to lie down before the tide
Will you be my umbrella to hide from pain
Will you be my sunshine on cloudy days
Will you attend my funeral after I pass away
Blood sucker
Take my life
You were nothing more than a parasite
But you were mine
This caused me to give things a blind eye
You were nothing more than a parasite
But you were mines
That seemed to be enough to live life

You want me to leave the room
So I don't inhale your doom
Little do know I have an invisible cloak
I'm no fool
And it won't help you to make me leave
Don't you know I'm already dying
So if you're going to **** what's dead
Shoot me in the head
With your blasted smoke up my nose
I'll help plan the funeral
With white roses in my hand
Only to be tainted by the air
No one can breathe
You want me to leave
But I refuse to
Please damage me
So I can be buried right next to you

I had a dream and the shoe didn't fit
I woke up and it did
My evil mothers magic
I was Cinderella
The one at the ball
Nah it was all a trick
When I came to realize
I was always the one who wanted the prince
But I never get him
I was the ugly face
That Disney made
They never do tell the whole thing
Like before that story
Because I was once sweet
But eventually my demons caught up to me
And jealousy fueled my hatred
I waited for him to save me
He never came
They call me evil but it's a mistake
Make up covers my face
But inside I know I'm a disgrace

My heart is a calamity containing calidity
I condone my situation because of what I view as justification... validity

I commence in feeding an ego that soon will be too immense for my own body

To lobby for draining more of who I was to satisfy a condition that should cease in existence...
(Who I am)
Has no point.

It's chronic to my health and as I continue to comment
I wish a cosmic allotment would hit me

I close my eyes and fade
Hoping to capture my reveries, but instead
I capitulate to the reality bleeding through my eyes

My insides dwell under a crimson sunset sky
How can the sun dare to shine on a place frozen over?
Ineffable and sublime

I attempt to open my eyes
Stopped by my bride, clinomania
She lies next to me in bed
I'd try to get out, but the only thing left is my head

Even then the dessert sand interior never fails to blow right through my hands
Binding my bones
Paralyzing my stance

I might be on Mars
That was never the plan

Yet, here I stand
Tongue in hand
Heart full of blood

Why is nothing ever enough?

You think I'm a joke
Maybe I was always a game to you
Don't be sad when I disappear
Acting like you didn't know
You're the reason I'm feeling this way
Extra pain
Time to break away
From your enchanting spell
Why do you put me through all this hell
Yeah you're hurting but you're not the only one
I'm choking up
Holding back the words I hate you
I won't do to you what you did to me
I won't degrade you
If you get stabbed in the back
You're not supposed to pull the weapon out
But I have to let this thing die
You cause me physical and mental pain
Verbally, with your mouth
And I want out
So I pulled out the dagger
Don't cry now
I gave you a chance
And you pranced all over it
Because to you I'm nothing
You never loved me
So goodbye
I'm staggering back
But I've made up my mind
Why is this so hard for me?

Why did God make life like this
I get that perfection is a delusion
And that eventually Jesus will come back for us
Destroying the earth
Ending the way it stared
With love having the last say
Back to darkness
Which was before the creation of day
Why did God make pain like this
How does he expect me to be happy living this way
All I find is misery
Maybe this religion isn't for me
But I do believe he is real
I just don't get why it takes my scars so long to heal
He breaks me down til' I am nothing
Gives me wisdom
Gives me strength
And when I start moving too fast
He takes it away
I just don't get why he made pain the way it is
Pictures of mournfulness
There has to be more than this
I know I'm not alone
But it feels that way
And when I talk
I feel like it's to myself
But then I remember sometimes the answers to prayers are no
Do this
Do that
To enter the kingdom of heaven
Sometimes I feel like life was given as a punishment for the crucification of his son
But God is too loving and merciful
Doesn't it also say vengeance belongs to God in the Bible

You ever absorb a song you can not repeat?
You ever beg for warmth and then melt in the heat?
You ever know the answer before your lips go to speak?

Needlessly moving,
Searching for purpose in functioning
Miserable ruckus,
Pointless nothings

You ever divulge in lyrics you dwell in peace with being?
You ever feel grateful for a pain in your concrete feet?
You ever know the outcome and act unaccordingly?

I do.

I grew from filthy pain
As brown as coffee
Dreams grew from my fluffy crown
Down to my roots

Naively awaiting the rain
The sun was my glee

Every thread that sew my chromosomes
Stabbed like the liars seed

Still, I grew.

The higher I rose
The more that was bore
I bloomed into a ****

Soon to be
Well groomed
Cut off with precision
And swift decision

I wanted to shine,
But when I was lifted
I forgot my wishes

There was too much pressure
In being a dream come true

I had grew to my limit.

I feel anguish and ache flow through my chlorophyll
It's what gives me my colors

You picked me.
My clear blood ran through
Green veins

The little life I did have and you blew it away
Your breath slice through my entire soul

Some people become fragile because their strength has been blown out by everything
They have ever known

I could forgive you
I need to

If only I was not emptily floating
Waiting to fall into the dirt

A piece of me makes it, the others are lost
I keep them in my mind, they are my peace
What hushes my insanity

You are wishing on something
That wants to drain your oxygen

I wish I could forgive you all
Instead I scoff down another grudge

You wish in vain when you tear open my veins
I want you to smother

On the filthy pain,
I learned to carry,

Under my crown of make-believe.

Take my hand and jump off the bridge
I promise if you burn it
The soil will be rich
And you're toil will finally reap the seed you've planted
And then you won't have to pretend you have a bandage to cover a scar
You got when he saved you from the car
Only to rip out your heart

Shaking back in forth holding my knees
On the darkness of my room thinking of you
Somebody help me please my eyes scream
My life the song of heartbreak
And I want it to stop...
I need it to stop
But I can't make it end
Contemplating my decisions
Grampa one day I'll join you in heaven.....



Still have that old ring you bought me
It said love
I remember how my father stepped on it
It still has the dent and to be honest the only reason
I'm not entirely in pieces
Is because as long as I have that ring
We won't be apart and I'll know you're not that far


Does it make me a horrible person I only cried three tears for someone I knew for years
Yet when I lost someone who I only thought loved me
I broke down almost completely
I don't get me
Emotions yet I'm heartless
Please tell me how bad I am
Please just give me a reason to end it
I'm tired of living

She is nice
She is kind
People walk on her all the time
When she gets mad
They  all laugh
It just makes her look cute
She doesn't like being a carpet
Appreciable
This problem needs to be noticed
She spoke out against their treatment
They spat in her face
She turned the other cheek
Now she is mean
They surrounded her with bad
She tried to stay sweet
But bitterness did now cower
It devoured
Darkness invaded the light
Why would we walk over somebody who treats us kind
And give so much attention to those who irk us
So many things in this world are backwards

Laughs and giggles
You're to weird to be anything but happy
They depict me as a fool
To them I'm just a tool
Why do I care
They act like I'm not there
Guess I'm a shadow
A ghost
They say it is what you make it
But I didn't make anything
Clear my name
**** my pain
I'm going insane
I hate to be used
Especially abused
But to them I'm a carpet with the words
A woe muse
I'm their stepping stone
But in the end they'll forget about me
Because I'm only an insignificant being
Just a source of entertainment
I'm not their tv's
It's not fair
Yes I am goofy but I'm also smart and dark
Honestly, a piece of art
You messed up my target
When your darts took flight
Never get to know me
Words roll
Your tongue cuts like a blade
Razor sharp
You always have a comeback
Being positive is the ability you lack
I'm too weird to be anything but happy
You're the fool
Anyone can play pretend
And I happen to be good at acting
Because I fooled you

Halo's over horns
I'm always so indecisive
Playing pretend

I was always bad at board games
Eventually I just learned to cheat

'Cause this girl plays to win
Even when dying within

Success is what I chase
Not feelings
Boo hoo, emotional

Trace the lines
Can't keep track of time

So the mask becomes skin
The old self dies
When the lies begin

Justice was her name
Just because you follow the law does not make you sane
Asylums were built
The tea burned her
Instead of soothing
Sunshine for a name
Maybe to cover their guilt
Imagine begging for the screaming to stop
When your the one yelling loud enough to be heard on the rooftop
Her brain was the frying pan
Her soul in flames
She was a dangerous thing
Always angry never letting go
Revenge was her dinner plate
Evilness her pride
Yet like a flower was her soft side
Always being picked
Crucifix
She just wanted to die
Demons were the darkness in her eye
A flower plucked and left to die
I tried to save her
I really did
A home for a foster kid
I gave her dirt, water and a ***
Not enough sunshine
My efforts were in vain
I couldn't help her and remain sane
I'm so scared to leave
Her dead spirit haunts me
The sun hides behind the clouds
Aren't I lucky?

How does it feel to do it all again?

So lonely
I'm floating
Like the plastic bag on my head

No weight to hold you down
Face it
She's gone and the pains still around

So capable
A waste full of love

How does it feel to do it all again?

She says, "I feel nothing"
I say, "You're a liar"

Eventually you realize the relationship will expire

Maybe I was wrong?
I miss when we used to take strolls down the side walk

All those dreams of buying cars driving around in empty parking lots
Sipping morning coffee acting mindless

You are gone, and I will still live it
Just not with the face I expected
Not the face I knew when we were both children

Time stands still darling
The clocks inside me
The hands can turn
I'm stuck like a flightless bird

Majestic being
Shinning fiend
Why are you befriending me?
Inside my mind
But on a different time line

She dances with blades
She is crawling
"bring the cage"
She is fighting while she sleeps
Just to find a way to breathe

She slices her feelings to make you a peachy pie
Her smile is a lie
Her hands gently create but her mind puts it all at stake

Her heart will break
But her soul won't leave
Her friends will flee
But she stays with me

Get out of my head
You're the void I can't fill
You consume and consume
Nothing that is left is real

I can't heal the scars
Neither can this pocket watch
She watches me burn
'Cause I'm locked in a barn and time won't stop

She is chaos
She is in me
Tainting what was once pure and sweet

I can't go back to the old me
But she lives inside me ...
Her pleads are strong
But I think she is wrong

She kills me in all my dreams
Her message is in between the torn seams
Darkness her palace
Light her agony

Her strings are pulled
She is holding onto me
Blood is her energy
Happiness her thirst
The coldness will burst
Into a million flames

All is lost
Nothing to gain
I am her and she is me

Slowly dying
Time stands still darling

I have no motivation to do anything
It's really not showing
I still manage to replicate the perfect student
Romodel human being
They think my mind is on my grades
My mind is set on ending my pain
I'll only fade
I'll only fade
And this time they all know
They just won't give me the help I need
So don't tell me you care about me
Don't even say you know me
If you're trying to tell me you know what I'm feeling
Don't say you know what I'm dealing with
Cause you're not the one who can never sleep
You're not the one shaking cause your wrist is aching for a blade
You're not going to help me so I should drop all hope
I have no reason to live
And the blood drops at my finger tips
Are screaming cave in ....

You are just a baby bird
Trying to leave the nest
Your wings are broken
And the landing was a mess

My soul seeps through the floor boards
I pray to the lord he'll take me with a flaming sword

The chords have wrapped around my wrist and feet
My fingers bleed like mold dripping from my missing ceiling

There's not a scream left in me
Not a voice
You drown it out when you create voids
Digging past my surface planting hurtful words and poisoning purity

I took all the mirrors down
They reflect the mildew of grief
Anguish supreme
Reign of anger and hate

I mourn for what was torn out of me
I cannot write what is intangible
Unforeseen
I just want to forget what's happening

Which is why I'm done writing

I can't speak so I can't use words to truly express anything
The chords around my wrist and feet are on my throat in my mouth

Weep
Vocal chords vibrating from the shaking of cold rigid fear

Fear I find when I awake mid-night crying out for
No one and nothing... nowhere.

I loved you
You broke me
I envy
Your capability

Because of you there is pain in my heart
I wish I never knew
But because of you
I also know happiness I never want to lose

I'm just not the one you choose
It's partially my fault cause I'm the one that asked you to teach me the mysteries of love

Days like these I wish that you would carry me
Days like these I wish I had you to hold onto
Days like these I realize you're all I need
Obliterate all that was marked
I remarked your charm
The annihilation of the sun
I always look up
Ardent and awaiting
With such patience for my cold skin to be welcomed by the bright shine
How can you appreciate darkness if you've always been in the light
Maybe I was just scared
So I ran away
It all seems so vague and faint
Saturated by memories and empty oblivion
An oasis of hope evaporated
The ocean decapitated
Fire breathed and I could not see
The sun looked down on me
I whispered begging it would just let me breathe
And be to me what it had been to the trees
Give me life please
Give a life to live so that I can fulfill my purpose
But what is it
Oxygen and H2O
All my friends are foes
Days like these I wish that you would carry me
Days like these I wish I had you to hold onto
Days like these I realize you're all I need
Tainted by debris
I couldn't see
That what I needed was me

Getting hope to let it slip
All these morbid thoughts
I can't seem to catch up to them
A cacophony surrounds me
I don't know what to say
The adversity of life was just eating  away
Seemingly numbered days
I'm so young
But all life has drained
Look me in the face
Look me in the eyes
You say I look good
And I replied thank you
As the conversation always went
The both of us smiling
But I am because of the malaise sitting in the pit of my stomach
Then he said something crippling
As if this was the day I had waited for
But it was all falling on deaf ears
This isn't the person I thought would jump to this conclusion
When I found they were getting too close I started running
No, no you can't know
You can never know
When did you discover I slipped
How long have you known
The words released from his lips
I just sat still
Like a duck on the pond
Something is wrong
But I don't know why I
I didn't say anything just felt up to play games saying
Oh really, is there
What is wrong with me
The same three words repeat
My brain says perseverance
But my heart faces defeat
So bland and bleak
I was at the mountain peak
I fell off so long ago
And I never stopped falling
I screamed and screamed
Til my shadow was all I could see
Maybe you could tell them all for me
The reason she is dead is because there was something wrong none of us could see
And she was just too scared to speak.

I tried to do what was right
But the rumors are just getting bigger
At first I was a *****
Now they think imma thief
What am I doing
I'm dying inside
Because every time I try to do what's right
I mess up it all
This stack of drama is getting tall
And maintaining my sanity seems to be losing its importance
I'm losing it
Everything I do just proves it
I don't think my peers or anyone would approve of this
Why am I doing this
Why do I even try
All I do is mess things up
When I tried so hard to make them right

I need a way,
An escape
And I don't want to say that faith isn't enough for me
But, I feel myself choking up at the end of the day
I'm staring at blades
I fantasize about suicide
Dying will end it all
But it's such a selfish decision
And I could never carry it through
I have to much provision
I don't want to throw my life away
I know all it will do is cause my family to feel the same as I
Therefore the pain never ends
But I might not make it
Not sure how much longer I can take it
I need a way,
An escape,
Another life
Because I'm dying inside everytime I awake

I can't take back something I couldn't do
And what I couldn't do 
Was tell the truth 
I was just protecting you
And I know your pressed because of my complicated ways
I still think about you everyday
And everyone thinks I'm over it 
But I still feel the same
Some things just aren't meant to be 
I feel that's how it is with you and me
And it hurts me to know that you wouldn't tell me the truth 
Because I never lied to you
My lies protected your life
But all your eyes saw was someone hiding the truth 
Something you so easily do 
And maybe I was wrong 
But I'd rather be a liar and not jeopardize your life
Although you ruined mines
Than to stay up every night with the brutal truth of knowing you lost your life
Because I couldn't tell a lie
All I did was protect you
I won't regret it
Even if it did hurt you
Which I never meant to do
I couldn't tell the truth
No what I mean to say
Is I chose not to