I spent a day sleeping, or at least
covering my face with a blanket.
Then night came around.
And my body ached.
My mind was preoccupied.
I thought of all the ways I could
take my life.
I've tried pills, but I always throw up.
I don't own a gun, but I've
done the research.
But one thing I did do was fashion
a noose, from a blanket that couldn't
cover me. I placed it around my neck,
and thought of where my life was headed, such a joke conceived for
an ill person at their wits end.
Now I lay on my hands, keeping them
from being idle. After I rub my neck.
Waiting for the courage to ignore the
value in the little things.

I thought that I was over this,
But still those evil lines I miss.
And in my head these thoughts come back
In a hungry, hateful pack.
I want to see my blood run red.
These thoughts returning of the end.

I wish, I wish, to stop for good,
Please break my heart and end the fued
And in my mind the war rages strong.
I'm still finding a way to carry on.

In my heart I know it's wrong.
It makes my lovers heart go numb.
But if I don't so something soon,
These thoughts of red will be my doom.

I* don't want you to create memories,
I want you to enjoy the moment, when I am with you.  
I want to be your performance drug, which makes you feel relaxed
and slows your heart rate.
I want you to absorb me directly into your bloodsteam.
I want to be the catalyst of your reactions.