Desiring a child,
softness of skin
revealing the tenderness
of their hand in mine.
Stroking the beauty of innocence
that of yet is not tainted by
the sins of this present world.
Overtaken by the righteous indignation
of protection,
possessing the fierceness of the lioness of her cub,
not allowing any evil into there world.
Mother, breathing strength to encompass
the purity and virtue of her beautiful baby.
Rocking in the darkness of night,but it is
distinguished by the light of those eyes,
looking up at you while giving them warmth and
sustenance.
Please Lord,bless my womb so I may bear a child.
I want to be overwhelmed with love for them.
Compelled to mother their needs,
while being permeated by their love for me.
Please Lord bear me with a strong will,
while I wait for my Precious child.

Stuck in an ending timeline;

whispers of love, the humourless cheer.

Taunts that appear to be laughing, at me;

a commoner's jeer.



I saw you,

then I wanted you.

my want became a need;

and my need is now the focus of all my deed(s).



What else is left to say,

should I mourn my bereavement

or laugh at my own foolishness?

do i love or let this ache i suffer for you eat at me forever?

You're as bright
as a big
beautiful wall,
not solid
at all;
an enchanted vast
master class
that marks a phase
of amaze;
a light pass win
at begin.

Several CHRISTMAS times have passed-
MY mind wonders back several years when
XMAS had a different meaning-
With the loss of my mom and dad and my stepfather
the true meaning of XMAS has gone-shattered by the
reality of life and deaths of those close to me-
XMAS leaves a void in my life never to be filled again ever-
With most of my loved ones gone there is this vast emptiness
that is eating away at me.
YES I have some family but it feels shallow as the holidays approach.
IF I  could go back in time and change things I'D put together the
pieces of the family puzzle and make XMAS a real holiday instead
of feeling down in the dumps but reality can take a bite out of your life-
and toss it away with no remorse-felt.
The only certainty is XMAS will come again and add its'reminder that
those who I love and miss the most will not be here .
I miss the opening of the presents,and the smiles and the small talk around
the XMAS tree .Maybe some day I will understand life better than I do now.
I will get through this holiday even though I will hold back my tears-I want to shed-
I pray to our LORD that he gives me his blessing to get me through-my time of need-
For mending a broken heart from family losses is not something you can put on your
XMAS wish list.
THE END

There are always rules
Some are unwritten
Some are set in stone
But they are everywhere
Of course if you want
You can break them
Though
You may regret it if your caught
You may feel guilty
Even if your not
But it's up to you
What to do
In theory
At any rate.

I love music
I like to hide
From my sour thoughts
In the beats of others.