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words ****
tightening the noose on the neck
stabbing  anyone in their safest places
firing invisible bullets in chests

hate stays at the corners of death
while you are in front of it
shooting arrows aimed at the heart
laced with spoken disdain
cowardly commentaries turned solemn eulogies

he falls to eternal silence
his pained voice echoes in you forever
you walked him to his grave
quietly, convincingly
...

it' getting dark
in your disturbed slumbers, his dying face waits,
uttering that it's now his turn
to bring you to your grave
I am a Pandora's box
: an enigma
: a flow of contradictions

I am infinitely pulled by madness and lucidity
: ambiguous
: definite

I am the lake and the river
: deep
: never-ending

I am explosion and implosion
: wrecking anything great
: and infinitesimal in my wake

I am the universe and the  vacuum
: expanding
: condensing

I am two poles wide apart
: the northern
: the southern

I am two realms
: the real
: the surreal

I am the skies and the earth
making love to birth a questionable existence
Dangling precariously on the edge
Floating in a current of self-made paradoxes
Born to be my own antithesis
And breathe with the complexity of it all

Pray forgive me then,
For living as I am
Is a battle in itself
And as usual my inspiration comes at very unusual times
My membrane is a flower and too many people have plucked my petals from the stem.
I ripped out all of the pages that had scripture in them, scripture that told stories of who I was back then, scripture I had written with a broken pen.

I kept your voice in a box that's in the attic, it's safe inside a headache, it still sounds nothing less than tragic.
Remember my hands and how they shook when you took everything away, when the demons weren't at bay,
when I screamed for them to stop but still, continually,
everyone's been taken away,
so when people stay please understand that I have to push them away like waves from the shore and ****, I know that's clichè but I'd rather die than let them live in my heart for only a few days.
They still try to talk and I reverberate about how it's unholy to say my name that way, it's unholy to keep me in the fade.
It's unholy to remember me by my eyes and not by my lies.
I have good alibis and it's nothing but true when I say that
I forgot what love means,
I believe it's an illusion that most people just dream, they told me I'm crazy but **** I think I've had more nightmares than dreams so I would know better than to keep my lonely stem stuck in bad weather.

They're over there seducing themselves now, they're seducing themselves with medication that leads to hours of a permutation of all the items in her chest, he leads her to a mutation of what he thinks is best.

I only weep between sheets.

They're far too confident in their self extraction and I just don't understand how that happens, how self absorption can lead to something so terrifying, placing yourself in a box so you can delegate yourself, you're too delicate, it's not good for your health.

That voice inside that box talks in third person now, it says you're not doing too well.
Theres more in this life than I think I can handle,
legos pile around me,
hell is becoming more understandable.
Every little mistake I've made
burns my soul with unending flames,
the memories toy with my mind
like Lego games.  
Building blocks around my heart
and shredding the bits of humanity I have left apart.
Stacking up the walls higher
and stronger to keep the emotions away,
if it all falls down
the insanity and anger will come out to play.
So these Lego games that block out all the hurt
need to stand tall,
I can't let anything break down or my life will
crumble
and
*f
  a
    l
      l.
www.gofundme.com/r5wnpsd5
Please check this out, its important to me.
Thank you.
Flying on my Shadow,
Enjoying the ride,
I passed a hillside
With stones, spelling out:
Sarnia Nudist Camp
In bright white letters,
Legible from a distance.

Did the frost push them up
Through the earthly womb
To birth this message
For the reading pleasure of passers-by?

Did the camp director create
This hillside billboard?

I've heard, at nightime, the stones
Gleam under a constant moon
That radiates above a notion of chance.
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