Transcending this reality, this moment, this place
Conflict between the ego and the soul, and truth

God lives in you, and you, in god
She is nature, she is nourishment
We are one

Renounce these rules of man or die a slave
Be love, like breath, like waves

I've back spaced
I've deleted
No words
I'm defeated
I don't know why
I put you so high
Away I can fly
When I waste a day
Without regret
Of all the things I did
With someone I never met

Reading broadens the mind
Opinions, feelings, thoughts entwined
Philosophy, concept, psychology, sociology
A fascinating anthology
Of life, beings, humans, being
Seeing
Further than the horizon
To what you can’t see
And what you don’t understand
A different land
Or a different time in a different place
We all face
Trials and Tribulations
Of the human race
Everything living is designed to survive
So why
Are we determined to end lives
Why does cruelty conflict
When so much tragedy already exists
Why are we conditioned to believe
That love and peace is so naive
Consumed by corruption and greed
When childhood lessons planted this seed
When we were young, when we were free
Before responsibility
I clearly see
I don’t fully understand economy
Inflation is easy
But when it comes to selling ammunition and guns
And murdering toddlers with the funds
Destroying entire communities
Thriving on disunities
Revealing in the privileged immunities
Gaining from murderous opportunities
I simply cannot comprehend
How we just pretend
Out of sight, out of mind
Or conveniently blind
Assigned to monotony
Resigned to the powers that be
You are a product of your environment, you see
I never gave you permission to speak for me

Early autumn skies
Thick with heavy clouds
Dusky pink hues and midnight blues
Some stripped naked trees
Some gold-orange leaves
Eerily bending in the breeze
Rain falls cold
Quiet yet bold
Filling muddy, earthy moulds
Sun rays strong and low
It comes and goes
Leaving lovely afternoon glows

I can’t divide
*** and love
They come combined
In my mind
How do you make me feel
so good in bed
Then I leave in tears
with the things you said
Your jealousy
and mixed up mind
Your insecurities
Keep you stuck behind

I crave your touch
to see your soul
Despite the manipulation
and control you hold
You’re no bad boy
But you’re bad for me
My spirt is lifted
When I’m away I’m free
The people around me
I ignored all this time
Who told me they’re proud
Support ups and downs
But nothing from you
Not a single word
No well done or how’d it go
No encouragement
So that’s how I know
You’re bad for me

Rolling hills of country green, patchwork stitched together with hedgerow precision offers such satisfaction with its squared off edges and nurturing bends
Trees climb the steepest points with ease and gravity fails as they stand proud
In the distance they almost reach the clouds
And today, if I jumped high I could reach them

Thoughts and words spill from my mind
Some make no sense at all
I write them down in scribbles in a notebook
Sense forms in time
Thoughts align
Adrenaline powered tears
I think
Sorrow for my mixed up mind
I read your words but not your mind
I know there’s so much to find
Aches and pains
What’s to gain
Hurt, regret
I can’t fight the connect

The birds are singing
Welcoming me home
Greeted with sincerity
In a smile
With truth
I missed tactility
Craved authenticity
Mutual connections  
Gentle reciprocation
Excitement wears rapidly
Grasses are not luscious all year
Lessons are not always learned
Ego seeks worth
In the wrong place
At the right time

Those visceral notes
Aloof, complicated
Feelings, art
Distant lover
Forever touch
Trust

My mind the forest
My friend the Forest

Enticing stranger
Complexities, lust
Anxieties, but
Never enough
Changes,
Longing

My mind the forest
My friend the Forest

Contradiction comes with my desire
I ponder possibilities
Of ill fated fiction
Of fake feelings
My heart is tied too tight
Loosened to the steady beat of truth
Feels right
When you stroked my hair
When your past made me weep
When the depth of your kiss

The seasons change
The dead leaves drop
It appears the same
But it's changed a lot
The cycle of nature
Or the circle of life
So much beauty
So much dies
a consistent motion
As our friendship once were
Now it's dead leaves
Left on the floor

Sharp was the blade
That sliced down my chest
Receptors severed
I look down at my open wound
This bloodied scene
Tugs and tears and numbness
I witness
Beats deaden
My heart in his hands
Dying
A vow to die
In love

Oh tea
How you comfort me
I want you pipping hot
Curse the day if you're not

Oh tea
How you know me better than most
You're with me through biscuits, curry and toast
Through the sadness and the jokes

Oh tea
We're together when my slumber breaks
Before and after afternoon naps
The solid, the broken and the cracked
You're my constant, that's a fact

Oh tea
You put your trust in me
Making you is an art, you see
My colleagues didn't understand
The severity that was in their hands

Oh tea
I'm sorry for the disrespect
For the long life milk and unsealed tubs
For the dust and 2 second snubs
The stained mugs and shrugs

Oh tea
You're the perfect friend
When my social skills have come to an end
Whether out ‘n’ about
Or on the couch all cosy and slouched


Oh tea
I take you everywhere
Without you? imagine the despair!
I must declare, you make me feel like a millionaire
A cup of you is like a prayer, without you I'd likely swear (a lot)

Oh tea
In a teapot, mug or cup
The choice is lucious enough
When someone comes through the door, the kettle goes on for sure

Oh tea
Through joy, celebration or pain
Disaster, pandemics or vain
Through loneliness or togetherness
You've always been so generous

Today I died
As I awoke
Reborn
A change, a gift
Tears of stories sting
I realise my being
A vehicle for living
This moment
I made it here
And I am love

I inhale, exhale on the breeze as the ocean rolls in and over my feet
I stand looking out to a world of black with dragon fire in its belly
You cling to my heart, climb my ribs and kiss me
I’m drowning on repeat in a sea of flashbacks and fantasies
I can’t touch the bottom

I wrote three lines on a poetry site
Empty words wrapped in feeling
Hearts lie bleeding
We understand
Started trending in foreign lands
The willow weeped and held my hand
Depression cuts the strongest man

Sentient, untameable love
You are not to be trapped, cut and dissected
You move inside of me every day
You float on bees wings
Penetrate radiance in flowers hue
Offer a sacred goddess in the form of the sun
Cultivate in nature’s nutrients
Reflect through his gentle suffering eyes

Energy surges
My body
Roots deep
As the universal
Core
Vibrations
Transcend
Inner
Higher
You
Me
Connections
Set me free

I am woman

Night had fallen for hours, the moon fell from the sky
She closed her eyes from darkness, and pictured you in her mind
Touching the softness of her torso, she watched you stroke her silhouette
She felt your hands like freedom, as skin on skin connect
Familiar textures at cosmic heights, light luminous spheres, held together by their own gravity
On this night of promised melodies, scattering music notes like stars,
that twinkle in time to beating hearts,
She let galaxies fill her mind, as comets spark and lips embark
She opened her eyes and caught your falling heart

Sometimes friendships have to die
It shouldn't be me always having to try
Unreasonable expectations, creating unnecessary tension
You'd rather see me in debt
Just to attend your lavish four day event
Come on, remember where you started from
Entitlement has a sour face, greed is a lonely place
Fake friends are ten a penny
You surround yourself with plenty
Speak your mind and share you thoughts
But don't expect me not to talk
Wind me up and believe you're lies
Are you that self-centred, someone just died!
It's all hypocrisy while causing more misery and you expect an apology!
I'm sorry I couldn't afford to go
I'm sorry that you're acting so low
I'm sorry I didn't want to be there surrounded by that smoggy fake air
Not that you'd care
I'm sorry someone died so I wouldn't have gone regardless
I'm sorry you can't grasp reality, I'm sorry you're so heartless

Yearning years of freedom
Clipped ethereal wings
Once fated unicorns,
uniformed we follow our horse drawn dreams
Intrinsically, a steady same
Restraints of captive rhythms pain
Others join along the way,
empty aches remain
Polluted smogs of grey
Visceral strangers
Intangible friends
Consumerisms branded web extends
Confused in suffocations gasp
Perfection in florescent, plastic grass
Hopes for our future lie in the past
Striving for pretension can never last
Fairytales aren't where forever ends
A wrapped view through a cracked lense
Without breaks or bends
Is this how it ends?
All grace depends

You screamed out secrets
Nobody would ever hear
All of silence fell
On that moment
On that breath
When you most needed relief
When your heart was so filled with cries
You dreamed of carving it out
Till you bled
As a warning to others like you
And there will be others
Who cheat themselves with internal screams
No one ever hears or sees
The sun has set and dawn will not release you

Coloured flowers on your skin
Bird silhouettes fly over me
The tarmac is warm
I’d drive forever
I remember your kiss
But be satisfied with shadows

I crave the crisp,
The soft contradiction
The woody smell of nature
Of earth
Your words
In ink
Drip from your skin
A moment
In time
A part of your mind
And it fills me up momentarily

She’s not sure if they’re lies
With the moon as her witness
That gives light the shadow, to the pavement cracks
Confusions dagger handed the power
To penetrate thoughts
Flesh is exposed
Tomorrow she paints a smile as blood drips to the beat of footsteps
Drowned out by music to ease the pain
Maybe this is necessary

Life comes
It falls at your feet
You came
You fell at my feet
With smoothed pebbles
And calm confusion
With the familiar taste
Of unfamiliarity
With one leg out of the covers
Playing guitar hips
With soft lips
We conversed in silence

Like a child, he made himself small
Crouched against the wall
He held on to the soles of his feet, placing his head on his knee
The relentless torment of vulnerability soaked his bare skin
Destruction tore him down from the outside in
As pain receptors cut and the light dimmed
Shattering porcelain hope in to jagged pieces
Too gentle for this time
Emotions had to die and tears dried
The drought left cracks in his mind
But the universe had other plans
For the harshest conditions and remotest terrain
From just a droplet of rain
Pretty flowers grow

Since Tuesday night I've felt a bit *******.
A negative energy feeling about the situation.
You no doubt think badly of me and I totally get that.
I didn't intend to be dishonest or morally ambiguous.
I wasn't even initially attracted to you.
But then you evoked an interest.
I liked your humour, your bluntness, confidence and when you told me little details about you.
You turned me on. You turn me on.
I wanted to know more.
You excited me and I enjoyed it. I became attracted to you.
I admit, I never discouraged you.
You never asked me personal details and didn't divulge your own.
I assumed that was because you were just having fun, which was fine.
So was I.
I'd never done this before.
Online with someone I've never met, it's all new to me.
Attraction is a strange thing.
Maybe I'm unsatisfied, fed up or stagnant with where I'm at.
Maybe things happen for a reason.
I don't know.
Who says what socially acceptable limitations are.
I want you to know though, I didn't mean to deceive you.
I actually wanted you to know but I wasn't sure you were interested in knowing.
I don't want to be a freak and make a dramatic deal over it when you probably couldn't care less.
I don't like the thought of making you feel crap about it though.


So I wrote something down. I guess trying to explain. Didn't want to fire it off at an inappropriate moment or you may not want to hear it at all.
Which is fine.

A tiny atom of the infinite
A path of chance or universal intention
How could change effect if the draw was luck
How could this ultimate connectedness come to be
There’s so much beauty in the energy
Dark tides worship pulls of silver moon
Female energy dances till dawn
We are children of the Earth
Granted a minuscule taste of life
In finite space
In finite time

I want to feel freedom
But my hearts ******* in you

With the frictional strike of a single match
Two full moons in crescent eyes
And forever in your smile
You fire up intensity
Lighting eternity
With crackled insecurities
And contradictories glow
Sunrise and sunset
You emit them both
Inspiration is found here
Perfectly, impossibly flawed

Your colours burst
Like fireworks
Rainbow spices
Scent the air
Henna painted fingers
Dance with fluent flair
A natural rhythmic pulse
Encompasses the tone
Love and hope explodes
In forever summer notes

Why aren’t the birds singing as Day cracks open
Sounds of traffic hum in the distance, but no familiar new day song
Ah
A coo of a wood pigeon brakes the eerie silence of nature
I feel relief