Look atcha,

sitting there
w/
a sober idea –

got nothing to say
anymore

I guess it’s back
to
drinking again.

******* *****, taking *****,
having to **** but just wanting to kiss
daydreaming of ******* and ******* and you
this world is gross and beautiful

Excitement.
    2. Bubbly belly.
    3. Oh, this guy is nice.
    4. Is this place clean?
    5. This chair is cozy.
    6. New needle. Yes.
    7. That doesn't really hurt.
    8. Yay!
    9. Oh. I am about to pass out.
    10. Cold compress. Water.
    11. Lie back.
    12. Good. And again. This doesn't  
    really hurt.
   13. Cold compress. Water. Lie            
     back. Chew gum.
   14. Good. And again.
   15. Done!
   16. Bandage.
   17. Pay with tip.
   18. Put on sunglasses.
   19. Eat a waffle.
20.  Peek. It's still there.

1121

Time does go on—
I tell it gay to those who suffer now—
They shall survive—
There is a sun—
They don’t believe it now—

the words you speak send razors through my chest into empty spaces between ribs where butterflies once use to live and where a heart would beat at the sound or sight of a dream i wanted. you moulded me into a woman too sickly filled with poison that could do nothing but wait and cry, wait and cry, waiting on the arms that matched your false superhero cape. its not fair how you use recycled words and i always fall for them. you've knocked the wind out of my chest and left me crawling for air on my knees. you have made me feel like i didn't matter, or that i wasn't worth the time or commitment, and instead of a soul you saw me as a body. you have taken the appeal of life out of me and have taught me what it feels like to heal without passion or interest. you rooted a hatred of myself inside me so deep i would have to scoop out my organs upon finding it. i give my applause for you putting yourself above me because that shows self appreciation; i just wish you could appreciate the butterflies a little bit more.

-mixed thoughts series

conceptcollection

We smashed through
plates of glass
on our way back down
from China.
We swam through
oceans of plastic bags
only to reach
the oily surface
of the Pacific's
deep heart of blue.
We flew through
red clouds of smoke,
feeling higher
with each breath
we took; to only find our
coastlines and insides
filled with factory stacks
of mobile empires,
run by thieves and crooks.

We thought we thought
the craziest thought.

We should have known better
than to blame our neighbor.

i can't remember
what it's like to sleep in sheets
that don't smell like you

the day we went to the aquarium
was the day i decided to let myself fall
in love with you, and by 11:54 that
night i was practically suffocating
under the weight of words i did not
know how to say, so i simply took your
hands in mine and hoped that you
could read between the songs that i
whispered as you fell asleep.

we aren't much older
now, but wiser nonetheless,
and i have figured it out