I cannot go back to the old me.
I killed her.
They tell me I changed.
I did,
I killed myself.
The girl I used to be,
Hurt me.
She didn’t mean to.
She didn’t know
What she was doing.
I had to **** her.
Assuming that people had,
Good intentions,
Too often.
Trusting snakes,
Too often.
Blinded by deceit,
Too often.
Taking for granted the ones,
She loved the most,
Too often.
She hurt me &
She couldn’t stop
Leading herself
To her own
Inescapable demise.
Don’t fret though,
I killed her.
She can’t hurt me anymore.
She can't hurt anyone anymore.
After I killed her,
The me that is left
Is learning,
Growing
& aspiring to be,
The best she can be.
I killed myself (the bad parts).

I need a little pain every once in a while
Recreationally I suppose
Just to remind me that the taste of life isn't always sweet
Refresh me on why I'm here
To help people through the same thing
To me it's like ******
I love the pain
Savor it
Crave it when it's not around
The withdrawals rock me
My next fix is always better than the last

You taste sweet
Like chocolate kisses and fresh raindrops
You're a warm ray of sunshine
Tickling the cooled skin on my arms
And my quivering lips
You're a soothing melody for when I can't sleep
You're all the things I want to keep


When I was a child he was my plaything
The teddy bear that I cuddled with
And the mirror that I used
When I wanted to learn how to kiss
He is the the song that played on repeat in the back of my mind
The hard piece of bubblegum that cost only a dime

You are my future
He is my past
He was the first
But darling, you are the last

Anger like thunder
Tears like rain
Shaking the ground
I'm a hurricane
I try even breathing
I scream and I shout
As hard as I try
I can't let it out
Nothing lasts forever
Except pain and despair
You know and I know
That I'm a nightmare
Lover take shelter
Find safety in midst the storm
Because I'm made of hell fire
But at least I'm warm

Beauty gives and beauty takes
It leaves destruction in its wake
Beauty breathes the breath of life
But in doing so it takes a life
New beginnings and bitter ends
All that's left is loving friends
Youth is given and easily lost
Fun is great but at what cost?
A child's first cry is a mother's dying breath
At least in the end there's still something left

I like the way you feel
And how we laugh
But sometimes it's hard
To let go of the past
I want to never think
Of the time in between
When I was yelling
And he was mean
When his lips were familiar
Just like his sly grin
I love you, honey
But I still want him

I envy you
For your ability to run
And hide from the things that you can't change
For having the nerve to say goodbye
And the means to flee
I am caught here in all of my lies
With no escape in sight
No end getting closer
Yet somehow I'll stay here
And you'll keep running away