You're the reason for my heartbreak
            the reason for my poetry
            the reason for my regrets
I wish I didn't give you all of me.
Tears building up but I refuse to cry.
My walls getting higher; I refuse to sigh.
You hit me with the "I miss you's"
You hit me with my own pics
Tryna revitalize my emotions,
though I keep tellin ya to quit.
I just wish you could see
that your heart will bleed
that together we're toxic
and you're destroying me.

the things you'll do after emotional abuse.
They try to love you, you run.
They try to get close to you, you push them away.
They try to break down your walls, you build them higher.
And when you realize, that you are in fact all alone..
after everything's said and done..
and that emotional abuse from the past shows his face again:
you begin to self-destruct.
Crying, sobbing,, you just want to be held
but to scared to be.
Trust issues and depression begins to define you.
You have no one to blame but yourself.
& you continue to spiral,
dying inside a little more every day
until you're in your dark room, all alone once again,
and that razor blade
pretends to be your friend.

I love you
I hate you
Addicted to the madness
Addicted to your bedroom
You're my cure, you're my cause
The one I hate, the one I love

how many drugs,
or bruises
or breakdowns
or anxiety attacks
or sighs
or fake smiles
or silence
it will take
until someone,
a n y o n e
realizes that I,
need saving.