when someone tells you that they want you,
you don't really feel anything
but when someone tells you that they don't want you anymore
you feel every ounce of it

you re read it over and over again
trying to figure out what you did or said wrong in the past 24 hours
you analyze all your moves from the start of the relationship
and when you find out that you didn't **** up
you just don't understand why
you don't understand what went wrong
that "don't" and "anymore" in that sentence weigh down on your heart
you can't stop thinking about it
you think,
"hey I'm okay, not worth my time anyway to be stressing over someone who is not stressing over me"
but that only helps for 5 minutes
and then you're back at it
trying to figure out what went wrong
and it's just a cycle
every **** hour
you're not okay
but oh you want to be
you want to be

I found ache in your whispers
Warmth in your bones
The wind whistled through your body
But I was home

Forgive me, dear mother,
For I am dead.
Inside and out.
I can't feel the pyre,
Or the cold grave.

Forgive me, dear father,
This is the day you dread.
I know this is not how it works
I am tired.
You'll just have to wait.

Forgive me, dear brother,
I know you've left.
You have your own
Disasters to live,
I wont be another day.

Forgive me, dear friend,
It is you I've bothered
Every time I was smothered
By the thoughts in my head.
Freedom is on its way.

Forgive me, dear lover,
For I put the noose
around your neck,
Every time I felt dead.
I have to set you free, let you stay.

Forgive me, dear stranger,
You don't need to read this,
I will be gone,
None of this will matter.
You will see a better day.

She looked for love in the backseat of his car
She looked for it in dusty store rooms
In abandoned buildings, the rough palms of hands
She didn't find it in his whispered sweet nothings,
She didn't find it in his apartment building either

He looked for an easy conquer, a one night stand
He looked for an innocent smile, naive doe eyes
He looked for it in needy fingers, hitched breathes,
He found it in her hair balled up in his fist
He found it in her salty skin, her soft thighs

She was looking for love in all the wrong places