Disappointment lies on the other side of opening your eyes so I only kiss you with my eyes closed tight.  Seeing people for who they really are is something that has made me lose hope in the past. If I saw you I'm not sure I'd like you but drunk and with my lips on yours I do, and I'm not sure I know the difference. Real and fake are close friends who trust eachother too much without question. You told me you were real but then you didn't stop when I said no and I started to think that all I was to you was just a body. Suddenly real and fake became distinct and all I wanted to do was close my eyes.  Maybe the shame wouldn't feel so bad or maybe I wouldn't feel so bad. Maybe you'd be who I wished you were, maybe you'd be who I saw before I opened my eyes.

I'm simply a souvenir
A memory of where you've been
You're only ever a visitor here
I am not where you'll stay
I just wish knowing this
Stopped me from wanting you to.

Missing you
Has become my way of breathing
Everyday, always
I am missing you.

I still am terrified of the flames
I've always been
But maybe if you held my hand
I wouldn't be.

I felt at home with you but
Home to me meant broken
And I didn't want to love something else that could break into pieces
If home is where your heart is
Mine is scattered throughout history
It's never been altogether at once
And I don't think it ever will be

You're just a ghost in my life
Coming in and out as you please
And even though I love you
I have to constantly remind myself
We died a long time ago
We're not real anymore
And we never will be.

I wonder how much time has to pass
for feelings to fade away forever
I haven't seen you in years yet
I still love you like you never left.