You came over last night
Put your arm around me like you used to
I wanted to cuddle in
I wanted to pretend that we were us again
But then starts that deep nagging feeling knowing this is a mistake

You shouldn’t hold me
I shouldn’t cuddle
We aren’t us anymore
We will never be there again
And my heart cannot continue to take this push and pull

I want you so badly sometimes that I don’t know why I chose to walk away but I know it was for the best

Just need to be reminded as to why..

Her love was a seamless desire to love and be loved,It loved her hips and thighs but it also loved the men it attracted.

sometimes
i catch myself
looking over at you
just
laughing,
eating,
or working,
and i catch myself
feeling completely immersed
in a feeling of joy
...
but then
sometimes
i look over at you
and you're
staring at the ground,
or staring off into space,
or just staring into nothing,
and because i know
that thats what you do
when you feel nothing at all
i catch myself
feeling the need
to do anything
to make you feel something
...
and then
after all the staring is done
and you are
perfectly balanced
on the spectrum of emotion
i catch myself thinking

why aren't you ever looking over at me?


― j.r.

Every thing you left behind is still here
Collecting parts of individually wrapped humans
I refuse to rearrange the furniture
It helps convince me you're still coming back
That you have forgotten how to love
Taking a hiatus to expunge selfish
There is a spot reserved here for you
I am the only one that can still see it

I'm not sure you exist
Though I've had my arms around you
I still don't know

I've written you
Over and over
Snippets of you in every character
Every voice
Every narrative
All finished
Before I met you
Even then
I knew you
Knew the shape of your smile
The width of your shoulders
The bold flash in your eyes
When your instinct comes out
I wrote all those things
Not knowing you were in the world

My chest folds in in itself
When I see those reflections
Those impossible men
I loved all of them
And so I love you

But

Your heart is taken
And so mine goes to dust

And still
I'm not sure
You exist

Will he remember
The soft words he whispered
As we intertwined hands?

Will he remember
My name in the morning
When he wakes up?

Will he remember
The way he kissed my lips
The night before?

Or will he simply wake, turn in his bed, and fall asleep again?

Warm as the very light touch of frost
cold as the new born sun of tomorrow
intertwined in our opposites we lay
your heart, hotter still
your skin, still alive
I rest, alone
wondering when you will not come