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Ajuda!

O que é meu propósito de vida?
Eu tenho um medo enorme por não ter um destino.

Ajuda Deus!
Eu preciso de ti!

Eu não sei o que é meu razão de viver.
O que é meu chamado?
I am the way I am.
Why should I be ashamed to express what I have to say?
I long to be on the rooftop and scream out your name just to feel some peace of mind.

Why do I keep torturing myself, trusting words that dissolves in the air?
Because hope feels better than silence.
I choose to trust because it keeps me sane.

So why be ashamed of feeling my emotions?
I have the right to wholeheartedly scream my thoughts out loud.

I am the way I am.
I feel the way I feel.
And I should not and will not be ashamed.
Now that I have time to think of the past.
I wished I said yes.

I know you are no good to my delicate soul.
But how could I deny those freckles on your face?
But maybe if I had the chance to play my cards right once more, my memories with you might have been like the depths of the ocean.

I am here when and wherever you might be.
And even though I might not cross your mind.
I wish you nothing more but the best of luck.

Thanks to you, I know what I should settle for.
And our end might have been bitter sweet.
I’ll hold you forever in my arms the ones that you liked so much.
The ones that held your face while you drove your car.

For my memories with you in this lifetime will and will always be my favorite part.

You were the only man I’ve let see the soul that I now guard like it’s the most precious stone.

Maybe later in our lives our eyes will meet again, and I hope that this time our hearts will meet each other.
Thanks to him I guard my heart like it’s a porcelain doll.
A man he claims.
A man he is not.

A man who looks in the mirror.
A man who convinces himself he’s God.

A man who pretends.
Is a man of myths.

Who is the man when he is without her?
A man who deceives and betrays.

A man who shouts he loves her.
Is a man who is devoted to her.
But he is a man who will sleep with another.
Thinking that he could recover.

Yet, he is nothing but a man who simply breaks faith.

A man who lies to himself,
Is simply a man of dishonesty to every breathing soul.

He is only a fool who writes scripts to save his own face.
We were just girls
Lili and I
when Dad brought her home,
a heartbeat wrapped in fur.
Mom sighed, already bracing for the chaos she swore she never wanted.

With every nudge of her nose,
Mom’s walls softened.
Even during the puppy messes, there was joy my mom won’t admit
but I saw it in the way she stroked Luli’s head
like she’d always belonged.

Luli was our first lesson
in what love should be:
patient, gentle, loyal,
comforting without condition.

Then I left.
Two years.
And I hoped the pictures lied that she wasn’t as thin,
that her eyes still sparkled, that her kidneys hadn’t turned against her tiny frame.

But when I saw her,
truth hit like a lump in my throat.
She was fragile, fading
but her spirit, unchanged.
She still wagged her tail
like I’d never left.
And in that moment,
I knew she remembered.
All of it.

Luli wasn’t just our first dog.
She was our quiet proof
that real love is soft,
and never needs to be loud to last.

Sometimes hope is cruel
because it made me believe
she’d look just like before.
And reality?
It reminded me I was right,
right to fear that, that was the last time
I’d ever hold her.

And I wonder
if she laid there, eyes dimming,
thinking of us
of Lili by her side, whispering comfort,
of Dad’s proud smile the day he brought her home,
of Mom’s hands that once hesitated,
but grew to cradle her like a secret she never meant to love.

And maybe…
maybe she waited for me, the one she hadn’t seen since summer
hoping I’d come through the door just once more,
so she could rest knowing we were whole again, just like before.
Me and Lili are still searching for you.
Every dog that we come across, we hope we still find you somewhere in them.
A mother's love is a different type of love.
A love that you will want to keep forever.
The woman that made me strong, courageous, ambitious and fearless.

A woman who showed me that even though in a world full of man you can and will stand out.
A woman who showed me that no matter how hard life got, you will need to put your feet down, head up, and walk out stronger than you were before.

Even though we're as different as water and oil mixed together, it's somehow perfect just like blooming flowers on the first day of spring.

No one will ever match her type of love that she has given me.

Even though one day she will rest.
I want to make sure that the time that we have left will be the best.
For my mom who I love dearly
She is both the sun & the moon.

She watches over me.
She has seen things that no other living soul has seen.
She’s the keeper of the untold truth between my tongue and teeth.
She heard the agony in my screams, as tears poured down my face.
She’s the holder of everyone's tainted confessions, cloaked conversations, ethereal memories and souls basking in each other’s presence.

She is both the sun & the moon.

— The End —