A girl is the doll
Princess of the house
Loves so much
So pretty and cute
Everywhere  
Like little fairy
Solves all the problems
Never demands
So affectionate
Till the death
Then why?
We are so cruel
**** her in the womb
Think about it
And take an oath
To give her a right
To survive.

when you wake up in the morning
desire is to sleep
you would struggle to get out of bed

when you go to work
desire is holiday
free,relaxed and a fun day's dream
it is always in front of your eyes

your birthday will come
desire is nice celebration
friends and fun
but short messages
throughout the day

there are  plenty of examples
for the desire
how realized
it varies for everyone

desire is personal

i'd like to tell myself it didn't hurt at all,
that nothing was sorrowful, and you were transparent,
i should've listened to the overpowering insecurities in my head,
who devour the moments of beauty i manage to collect,
the sound of your words became deafening and all i wanted was to hear the magnitude of your thoughts,
i stared at pictures of her and tried to figure out what made her more alluring, seeking reasons for me to be less compelling, questioned if there were pieces i was missing that you found in her,
i retraced steps and wrote out maps, built bridges and came crawling back,
i was lost and there you stood,
creating and collecting temporary bliss and falsehood.

In a empty bath tub,
       I washed you forever away...

The plug hanging silent,
       As tears collapsed downward...

A hollow basin awash with regrets,
      cradled within a vacant space.

I dropped my jagged reflection,
                 not letting it cut into me..

The only thing scaring this emptiness
                 are my tears, as I walk out stronger...

Others voices were finger nail melodies
on a chalk board of incoherent cares
                     each scratching ever deeper.

Hearing others whimper, was like
a cat being strangled slowly..
            So I drowned them in a bucket of silence.

I now have a collage of broken promises
on my shoulders, weighing me down.
                     papier-mâché regrets I want to burn.

There's no silver linings
No light at the end of the road
And I've been searching
...all on my own

The trees are losing thier leaves
Much like I am losing my hair
And the grass is growing it's weeds
And I'm seeing things that aren't there

Its these chemicals balanaced in my mind
That prompts me to find
Such sad little beings
Who love and live
As thoughts in my mind

I'm seeing faces in the shadows
Love in darkness
And happiness with the smoke in my lungs

And I'm done

So done with this constant ache
This soreness in my head
This brutal awakening
That I am dead

Not physically so because I still breathe
But inside of me, I bleed

I look in the mirror
And hate what I see
"Well change yourself!"
But that isn't me

And now I'm slumped on the couch
Listening to slow songs
Watching the room spin
Out of control

Wishing these thoughts weren't there

Because of you
i am worse
i'm someone i would have never thought i could
become on my own
You made me become the person i am today
and that is not something to me proud of.
At the beginning, i wanted this writing to be a poem
but i have to write it out as a story.
You can trust someone with your all. You can sacrifice everything
for someone. At the end, they forget everything you did and were willing to do. They turn your actions, into something people don't like. They try to convince everyone else, an idea that is completely different. They don't realize the damage they do to your soul.
In your head, you keep recalling all the things you guys did. You recall the little things you guys used to do. You remember the songs you guys sang in the car. You remember all the little stuff. Because he is the one who in fact left. You tried to be his friend. You tried your best to keep in contact.
In his mind. You weren't worth it. He hangs with other girls. He starts to assume that it is okay to move on. And then again, he forgets. He forgets everything that you did for him. You come into tears, and you drown into your soul while being against the wall. The wall makes you think there is someone holding you while your tearing apart, crying about the person you went to when your where spilling your tears off.
When your mind is wondering off, it takes a little peak back. It wonders, and it goes into the little section that says "broken". It reads a little, and on its own, it starts inundating.
You find yourself in this position, where you don't know what to do. You don't know how to move on. You don't know if moving on to someone else is the best action. Even if he starts being interested in someone else. You are still there. Stuck. Debating on whether to stop, or finding a way to move on. He made you worse, than you were already. And you could never go back. Not in the same way.